Mike Adams, Sociopath aka the Health Ranger


Health-Ranger-Jacket-Smile-225

 

Martha Stout author of, The Sociopath Next Door, states that, “about one in twenty five individuals are sociopathic, meaning, essentially, that they do not have a conscious.”[1] Most people associate the word sociopath with criminals and serial killers.  While all serial killers are sociopaths not all sociopaths are serial killers.

Sociopaths live right under our noses.  They are pastors, ceo’s, politicians etcetera.  When a person has been intimately involved with a sociopath there is a phase in the healing process in which everywhere you turn you are seeing a sociopath.   After that phase passes it  is like having a radar for sociopaths.  It could be a look, a diva-like behavior, the written word or the spoken word that will trigger that radar.  Being a person of conscience we often justify or explain away these red flags in an attempt to make logical the illogical.

The Symptoms of this disorder, as defined by the DSM-IV-TR can be found on this blog post, http://ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com/2013/01/20/the-face-of-narcissism/ .

What does occur is that our radar does become honed. Those past experiences serve as shining lights spotlighting the sociopath/narcissist that is currently in front of us.

One such person is Mike Adams, the self-proclaimed, health ranger, activist-turned-scientist and owner of Natural News website.   I receive weekly e-mails with links to the website.  I decided to explore the web-site beyond the normal links to articles. I went to his biography page, http://www.healthranger.com/Health-Ranger-Biography.html and that is when the alarms, sirens and red lights started going off in my brain.

The verbage he used was so strikingly similar to the ex-sociopath that I was involved with (refer to the face of narcissism link above).

Does anyone really need to know what he scored on his college entrance exams and then that he chose not to go to MIT?

 “In college entrance exams and graduate school entrance exams, Adams scored in the 99.9th percentile across all U.S. students. He aced the English, Mathematics and Science sections of college entrance exams, scoring 100% on 3 out of 4 sections earning numerous offers of scholarships from various universities, including the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (which he chose not to attend)”. [2]

Below are some more of the red flags.

Adams chose not to attend graduate school but was offered numerous scholarships to do so. Instead, he decided to launch his own software company in 1993. That software company went on to become a multi-million-dollar entity that provided email technology solutions to many Fortune 500 firms and specialized in email alert technologies for universities and government offices.

Adams sold the software company in 2003 and launched Natural News (then NewsTarget.com). Natural News went on to become the internet’s most trafficked natural health news website, reaching millions of unique readers each month.

Mike Adams lived in Taiwan for two years and is nearly fluent in spoken Mandarin. Adams was also a resident of Ecuador for two years, from 2008 – 2010, where he built a 20-acre food forest containing over a hundred food-producing trees. He speaks conversational Spanish.

Adams has no criminal record and has never been arrested. How much do you want to bet that most likely he has a criminal record?

That whole biography page was just screaming out at me—sociopath –sociopath.  I did not want to be under the influence of the, ” I see dead people” syndrome so I referred to a trusted friend and colleague Paula of  http://paularenee.wordpress.com/ and sent her the links and asked her opinion as I consider her an expert in sociopaths.

Her response to me were the following links:

http://mike-adams-scam-artist.blogspot.com/

http://healthwyze.org/index.php/component/content/article/616-special-report-the-legend-of-mike-adams-and-the-reality.html

 

One of the sociopathic traits of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the smear campaign.  The attempt to make someone else look bad by misdirecting the light of truth towards somebody else and away from the sociopath.

And here in lies the irony because Mike Adams, health ranger/guru (sociopath) has two articles on his website:

“Warning Consumers About Fake Gurus and Sociopaths

  • Natural News editor Mike Adams is the author behind the world’s most popular article on “how to spot a sociopath,” currently featured in the top five search results on Google for the search term “sociopath.” (http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html) This story has been viewed by millions of readers and continues to help people avoid being exploited by others with sociopathic tendancies .
  • Mike Adams (the Health Ranger) is also known for posting video parodies of “new age gurus,” making fun of their language and their repeated asking for donations for projects that never seem to come to fruition. His YouTube video called “Fake Gurus Exposed” depicts a guru named “Moonbeam Karma” asking for donations for a project involving magical twigs. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXoaC9fhXyc).”

So I went ahead and googled “sociopath” and lo and behold Mike Adams article did not appear in the top five search results of google.

What better way to deflect that you are a sociopath than by posting an article on sociopaths. The sociopath checklist that he posts should be read side by side with his biography page.

I am sure you are asking yourself, why is Ivonne writing about this?

Well I am going to tell you why. I am on many missions and one of those missions is to expose the faces of narcissists and sociopaths.

I have a Facebook page dedicated to this project, https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Faces-of-Narcissism-and-Sociopaths/1520998668119419?ref=bookmarks

There are too many of them on the planet and they make life a living hell for those around them. They are a plague to society and need to be exposed.

I am concluding that Mike Adams is one of these such sociopaths. I have unsubscribed from his newsletter as I do not want to support sociopaths.

 

[1] Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door page 9

[2] http://www.healthranger.com/Health-Ranger-Biography.html

How do you fight Depession?


Since Robin Williams suicide I have seen many articles,fb posts and blogs about suicide and depression.  The truth is unless one had been there so hard to understand why anyone would commit suicide.  But you don’t just wake up one day and go, Hey I think I’ll off myself today.

Before suicide is depression and swimming in the dark abyss.  Are we doomed,those of us who struggle with depression? I hope not.  I don’ t think there is any one way to deal with depression.  I think those of us who suffer from it must have an arsenal of tools available to us.

My wordpress friend, the pink agendist wrote this great blog on depression.  I found it to be very helpful and with his permission I have duplicated it here since his blog is currently set to private.

His advice is practical and logical.  Enjoy.

How do you fight depression?

by pinkagendist

My experience with treatment was a bumpy ride. Four different doctors, a number of different diagnoses and an equal amount of medications to treat them.

The first few years were very much a waste of time. Just talking and answering poignant questions didn’t do much for me. Some medications did ease the accompanying tension and anxiety, but not enough to account for any significant change.

The thing that did it for me was CBT (offered by the NHS in case you’re interested. Otherwise a session costs anything from $50 to $500). The backbone of CBT is how to confront and alter your life to minimize the effects of whatever destructive thought patterns you might have- from depression to OCD to phobias.

In a practical sense it works by identifying your stressors and triggers. You learn to recognize the factors that set off your depressive process/cycle. For some people that could be the weather, for another it could be the holidays. It’s not necessarily significant. I know someone whose process is related to parties, even parties she enjoys. In the week following a party she’s invariably overtaken by thoughts on existentialism, whether life is worth living. So we can say that although parties aren’t the deep causal factor in her depression (existentialism is)- the parties are the factor that set off the switch.

If you don’t know what your triggers are off-hand, keeping a diary is very helpful. I’ve met people with all sorts of triggers. A certain tone of voice, seeing the sunrise, being in the presence of a fight. Think of it in the way adrenaline or dopamine work. Action triggers chemical, chemical triggers sensation. Cycle ensues. In the case of anxiety or depression the pattern always involves a very specific index (and style) of thoughts. The depressed individual’s mind goes round and round, lingering on the same topics and re-interpreting life from what is many times an entirely irrational (and negative) perspective. Here’s a simplified example of a depressive cycle, note how they interact and bolster each other:

photo2

helpful

(In case you’re thinking that if the person in question is overweight, then the depressive thoughts are simply a rational reaction, you’re wrong. The issue being the “style” of the reaction. Someone accustomed to these thought patterns will apply them to all aspects of their life.)

You’re suddenly not a guy doing your best, you’re a bad guy. Your work isn’t respectable, it’s pathetic. You look in the mirror and you only see what’s “wrong”. CBT says: STOP. Turn away from the thoughts. Move in another direction. It sounds simple enough, but requires an inordinate amount of discipline, especially because most of us have been repeating the same patterns since adolescence. At first I wore a rubber-band on my wrist and snapped it every time I had an irrational negative thought. For it to be effective, you do have to regard it as a daily job.  You also have to be prepared to make significant changes and confront things that could have a major impact on your life. Your trigger could be your partner or sibling. It could be the weather in the part of the world you live in. It could be your boss or your job itself. Obviously, it can also be in the realm of the nots. Not doing exercise, not writing, not looking for a different line of work.

I’ve spent years re-structuring my entire existence. It’s a work in progress and always susceptible to change. My biggest realization is how my state of mind is mostlydependent on my own decisions. I can’t control the world around me, but there’s a whole lot I can do to give myself the best possible experience. We may not be able to control the world around us but we are fully able to control our own reactions.

Take the example of the kettle and nespresso machine breaking within days of each other. Many years ago something as insignificant as that would have made me extremely angry and would most probably have set me off on a depressive cycle.  the thoughts would be: Nothing works, nothing lasts, people just rob you. How much will I have spent replacing appliances until the end of my life? I probably don’t make enough. Bad things seem to happen more often to me than to other people. My behaviour would have been: They’ll just break anyway,  so there’s no point buying new machines. I’ll just boil water in a pot and have instant coffee from now on. The result would be a persistent dissatisfaction every time I wanted coffee or tea.

Even after all these years of practice, my first reaction to the breakages was intense negative emotion. Which would have been followed by the negative associative process- but I can stop it in its tracks (most of the time). I stop whatever it is I’m doing. I go sit in another room, and then I decide what can be done for me to move forward. Don’t overreact, how much is a new machine, I can order it without leaving the house. Life goes on.

 

 

 

Flashbacks


flashback 1

 

The past couple of months I have been experiencing flashbacks. No not hot flashes, but flashbacks defined by Merriam Webster as :

1-a recession of flame to an unwanted position (as into a blowpipe)

2 a :  interruption of chronological sequence (as in a film or literary work) by interjection of events of earlier occurrence; also :  an instance of flashback

b :  a past incident recurring vividly in the mind[1]

So what have I been having flashbacks on?  The answer is incidents/events that occurred while I was having a relationship with the sociopath.  I could be going through my facebook feed and read something random about NPD which will trigger a thought, or I could be checking site stats here on WordPress and see that some of “those posts” had been read by someone or I check the word searches that have led people  to my blog and I see his name + sociopath and I start to wonder why is someone looking up his name + sociopath.  Is it a new target? Will She contact me?  Or I could be driving and a random thought just enters the brain.  Or does it? Is this random or is there some underlying reason I am thinking about these things now?  When I first wrote that story I was nowhere near understanding or healing.  The first few posts were just about getting the information and the feelings out there into cyber space.  It was writing born out of confusion and hurt.  I read those posts and it is as if they happened to someone else.  And they did. I am no longer the woman in those stories. As I read those posts or flash on event I am seeing it through a different lens, a different perspective.  This time around I know about the sociopathic pathology. I can clearly see where and how I was manipulated by this person. And there is no anger, and there is no hurt.  There is only knowledge and understanding of what happened.  And it bores me. My own story bores me.  Who this man is bores me.  He is nothing more than a fictional character created out of the dark recesses of his distorted brain. His whole life and successes nothing more than the fictions of a sociopath created to appease narcissistic delusions.

When you have intimately known a narcissistic sociopath and you research and learn to aid the healing process you reach a point where you able to recognize the sociopaths around you. It does not mean you don’t get fooled or used by these people. It means that you are able to recognize the red flags and manipulations.  As it turns out 4 months ago I wound up training a new female performer who it turns out it is a sociopath.  Female narcs are slightly different from male narcs but I won’t go into that here as I stated previously the narcs around me bore me.  I will just say that we are no longer working together and she refused to return $300.00 worth of equipment for no good reason.  As if a narc needs a good reason to do anything.  But it’s like getting sucker punched and you are like, “shit it happened again.”  And they knock the wind out of you.  And you have to decide how much do you want to continue to engage with this person?  What’s worth more, the $300.00 or my sanity and energy?  I have chosen the latter as I have far more positive projects to work on.

 

 narc baby meme

[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/flashback

Cacao Farmers taste chocolate for the first time.


It is easy to forget how privileged one is to live in the United States.  Our problems often times may seem insurmountable but when looked through the lens of the third world what we see as a problem can be often dismissed as entitlement.  Seriously do you ever go to the supermarket and just feel privileged to be able to buy a bar of chocolate or do you just chalk it up as an ordinary everyday occurrence.  Of course if you are Vegan like me add to that complaints regarding vegan chocolate being more expensive that milk chocolate.  Never again the next time I eat a piece of chocolate I will savor it.  I will enjoy it and I have gratitude that I was able to buy it.  These are the thoughts I had after I watched the following video and read the following article about cacao farmers that have never tasted a chocolate bar, the fruit of their labors.

Enjoy.

 

How to Make Chocolate Better: Make Sure More Cocoa Farmers Know What It Tastes Like

Integrating chocolate products with farmers could help solve labor and environmental issues.

July 31, 2014 

Willy Blackmore is TakePart’s Food editor.

There’s a reason why, for decades, we talked about Belgian chocolate—associating a product with a country where the raw ingredient could only grow in some future post–polar ice cap world where Europe’s climate resembles the tropics. It’s because the commodity crop gained global cultural relevance after colonists brought it back to Europe from overseas and processed cacao into new products such as candy bars and truffles. When the conquistadors first encountered cacao in Mexico, the beans were consumed in a spicy drink; today, traditional cocoa farming has all but disappeared in that country.

I bought a fresh cacao pod when I was 10, while my family was living in Costa Rica. It, along with cashew apples, was on my list of tropical fruits I wanted to try because I was familiar with them in a different guise. While I had eaten plenty of cashew nuts, I wanted to see the red fruit they grow out of, like a comma following an apple. As a fan of chocolate, I wanted to see—and taste—where it came from too. While the cashew apple was a weird wonder, cacao was something of a letdown. The pod itself, which looks like an elongated melon, ended up being far more interesting than the chalky, rather bland seeds inside. Before being fermented, dried, roasted, and processed into cocoa or chocolate, the beans are underwhelming.

That experience came to mind when this very sweet, touching video of cocoa farmers from the Ivory Coast eating chocolate for the first time went viral this week. It’s a sort of aw-shucks moment for viewers—I mean, how could they have never eaten chocolate? “I did not know that cocoa was so yummy,” Ivorian farmer N’Da Alphonse says after taking his first bite, his recently harvested cocoa beans drying just feet away. From a Western perspective, it seems impossible that a farmer could be so divorced from his crop. But growing cocoa isn’t growing chocolate; nearly three-quarters of the world’s cocoa is grown in West Africa, and yet the entire continent accounted for just over 3 percent of chocolate consumption in 2008, according to a CNN investigation on cacao and child labor.

The drawn-out, globalized supply chain—cacao is grown in developing nations, ground in industrialized ones, and sometimes processed in other well-off countries where they actually eat the stuff—is largely to blame for Alphonse and his friends having never tried chocolate. But the same system can both support and hide the labor and environmental abuses that are rife in many cocoa-growing countries. High poverty and weak, cocoa-dependent economies in countries such as the Ivory Coast, the world’s leading grower, have encouraged clear-cutting of natural habitats and child and slave labor on plantations.

Connecting farmers like Alphonse with the product they harvest—and narrowing the gap between cacao pod and chocolate bar—could help solve these more troubling problems of the global trade. A full 90 percent of the world’s cacao is grown by smallholder farmers on plantations of fewer than five hectares, according to the International Cocoa Organization. Empowering these growers through programs such as fair trade and supporting companies that produce single-origin chocolate bars—often produced in facilities near where the cocoa is grown—could help make the $83 billion chocolate industry benefit the people who toil so hard for so little to feed our sweet tooth.

 

 

 

Happy 4th of July


 

BrugHRDCYAATWeR

Happy Independence Day!!!

 

As a child I used to love going down to Santa Monica Pier to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July.

As the adult owner of three dogs—not so much.

I have to say that this has been by far the worst 4th of July I have ever experienced.

 

For starters it seems that fireworks are quite legal in Palmdale. Yes, I have seen the stands all over town for the past two weeks.

 

av-fireworks_t580

 

And yes the occasional firecracker has been going off for the past two weeks–not fun, so not fun.

Marley already has PTSD—this is so not the holiday for her.

 

I decided to buy her one of those thunder shirts, that are supposed to calm dogs–like giving them a continual hug.

I measured Marley to make sure I got the right size as these shirts cost $40.00. I bought the correct size based on her measurements and the shirt was still a tad large. If you scroll down you will see a picture of Marley in the shirt and the condition currently of the shirt as Marley has been trying to chew it off.

I had a face painting job today at the Calabasas Swim & Tennis Club.

Good thing the job started at 3:00 pm because I got to bed at 5:00 am after spending a few hours putting together my face paints and looking for 4th of July designs on the internet.

What was interesting was that I found some of the same pictures that a colleague had emailed out to all the party people as her face paint designs.–Hmnn–mental note for next year find cute designs on the web and claim them as my own.

I barely sit down to face paint when some mother starts complaining that her child should be first. Really? Because it seems to me that another mother had come up to me while I was setting up and asked me where the line was and I told her, just wait over there. So the mother who thought her child should be first per me was actually the fourth child to get in line. I’m thinking I haven’t even painted a face yet and no one has been there more than five minutes and the adults are already arguing over who should be first. Yes there are shy children in the world who don’t know how to wait in line and just let other children in front of them. That does happen. Here’s the thing when I am hired to face paint I do just that face paint. I look up and monitor the line as best as I can but t is not my job to teach your child to be more assertive. I did have two kids in line arguing over who was next. And how do I solve that one?   Simple I tell them if they don’t stop arguing in my line neither one of them is going to get painted. That usually gets the kids behaving better—but excuse me where are the parents and why aren’t they parenting? Oh it’s a country club they are having drinks by the pool.

 

Here are three of the designs I did today.

Butterfly 1                heart design princess 1

 

 

Now knowing that my residential area was going to be shooting off fireworks all over the place my plan was to get down with work at 5:00 pm race home let the doggies out before it all started.

No such luck. I got a call while on the job that a performers relative had passed away and they were catching the next plane back to the east coast. My thoughts on the matter are better left unsaid. However I shall say that I was not able to go to my own grandfathers funeral because I had work commitments.

So that being said I had to stop at my mom’s and prepare another performers costume to cover those jobs.

My plans to be home before dark just flew out the window. But I did try. As I pulled off the freeway exit I could already see the fireworks going off at 8:30 pm. It wasn’t even totally dark yet.

In retrospect I should have quietly walked into the house and pretended I wasn’t home because just my arrival got all the girls going.

Of course I had left them in three separate areas away from each other—-lest they were to get to riled up and a fight break out while I was not home.

I quickly realized that they still needed to be kept separated as the two pups were going nuts with noise. Marley got put in the bathroom–quite den like and I thought safe as she could not destroy anything in the bathroom or hurt anyone else.

Missy and Maddy–who seem to get along lately were put into my bedroom.

All the plans to clean and organize went out the window. In all the surrounding neighborhoods fireworks were being set off. Go to the back yard and I see fireworks. Go to the front yard and I see fireworks. Three houses down the neighbors apparently had a huge arsenal of fireworks such that at 11 pm they were still shooting them off. I have such a headache–it really sounds like a war zone around here. Even the cat started freaking out it was so loud. I can’t imagine how people who actually live in a war zone do it—wow. I know it’s not really a war zone just fireworks—but the air is smokey and smells horrible as well.  And the way the wind was blowing those damn things were literally going off on my rooftop.  I was afraid the house might catch fire–quite scary actually.

I had seen this meme on face book earlier today letting people know vets live in the home be c careful with fireworks. I didn’t really understand how fireworks could really trigger PTSD until tonight.

vet meme

 

It really felt like a war zone so I could only imagine our vets who had served were going through. I did some research and many of them avoid fireworks.

11:15 pm –the neighbors finally ceased fire–I go outside–yes people are getting into cars and leaving–yay. I let Marley out of the bathroom and then I go to let Maddy and Missy out of the bedroom….well come to find out they somehow managed to lock themselves in the bedroom from the inside……

There is that moment of panic as I think how am I going to unlock the door from the outside. After the panic fades I think –the French doors. There is a set of French doors from the bedroom that goes to the back yard. If those doors are unlocked I can let them out that way. The French doors were locked but for the first time since I moved in I see that there is an outside lock with a keyhole. I try the front door key and viola– I get the dogs out.

With the noises fading down it’s quiet enough to finally feed everyone. In my naiveté I leave Marley and Maddy along in kitchen so I can write the blog…….and then it happens Marley picks a fight with Maddy over some veggie nuggets. Here we go yet again. I grab Marley by her hind legs so I can pick her up. I have learned not to put my hands near her mouth when she gets like this. Both of the girls are fine–no blood was drawn. And that is how my 4th of July ended.

 

DSC03882

 

Acceptance or Resignation……..


lavendar crone 2

 

These are the two words that have been  drifting through my consciousness for the past few months.

Accept by  definition means to accommodate or reconcile oneself in regards to a situation whereas resignation means the act of resigning a submissive attitude state or state.  These words seem so similar in meaning yet acceptance seems to me to be more “go with the flow” while resignation implies a sense of quitting –a giving up.

So the question begs to be asked have I accepted the now or have I merely resigned myself to the fact the life I had dreamed on will never be?

Since mid November I have been unpacking, moving putting away, throwing out and re-evaluating every aspect of my life.  I love the house I have moved into.  It’s huge and spacious.  If I could take this house and plop it beach side I would be in heaven. But I miss the ocean.  Is this it for me?  I dreamed on living in a house on the beach and drifting off to sleep to the sounds of the ocean waves crashing on the shore and I am living in the desert in the middle of nowhere and in the evenings I am lulled by the sounds of the frog community that lives in the empty lot next to my home.  I am not someone who just randomly moves. I lived in Long Beach for seven years, before that I lived in the valley in the same apt for 15 years.  I tend to stay put so other than winning the lottery and becoming an instant millionaire and buying that  beach house I will be out here for quite a while.  So, yes I have been wondering is this the end of the line for me?  Do I die in the desert rather than ocean side?

 

It is not just the move that has me reflecting but the reflection I see staring back at me in the mirror.                                  ivonne mirror

 

And I’m not talking about age as in getting old but age as in wow yesterday I was only 25 years old where did the time and my dreams go?

 

So you see, it’s not about “aging” but about the dreams that have gone unfulfilled and that most likely will never get fulfilled and so they start to fade from memory like a classical film becomes faded and torn with time.

I look at the vision board that sits on the corner of my bedroom floor and all I want to shout at it LIAR-LIAR -LIAR!!!!  I created that vision board about the time I started this blog.

That vision board hung in my bedroom in Long Beach.  I would look at it upon awakening and before going to bed.  I had so many dreams just five years ago and I was still hopeful that they would come to pass.

As I look upon the images which were carefully chosen and placed on the board I have to accept/resign that some of those dreams have faded into nothingness.  Five-seven years ago I was still hopeful of meeting someone and starting a family. Even if I meet someone tomorrow and a relationship developed I don’t think it would be possible to start a family.  And even if it were possible for me at the age of 52 or older to have a child, would I even want to at this age?

But the dream of child and family carries with it the ways I would have celebrated Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and all the holidays.  Gone are the dinners that will not get cooked, the cookies that will not get baked and the mother’s day cards I have always yearned for.

Ok so maybe the age factor is playing a bit into all of this contemplation.  My body is changing and not in a good way.  When I was younger I used to say that I looked forward to menopause because my periods were so painful and now as I sit at the precipice I am not so sure I am ready.  There is a line that is crossed at menopause and nothing says old lady more than the onset of menopause.  Truthfully I can’t even say that I have crossed over into that phase of life but it certainly has been on my mind lately.  I do not have any of the classic symptoms of menopause.

“Symptoms of menopause can include abnormal vaginal bleeding, hot flashes, vaginal and urinary symptoms, and mood changes.”[1] Yes, my periods have gotten sporadic but they still occur.

Crone mother is knocking at the door waiting to be invited in but how can I let her know when there is still so much that I yearn for, long for? I look at the face in the mirror and I ask, “Who are you? ” Why do you torment me when I want to hang onto dreams that will never be?”

 

Hecate 2

 

And she responds by the glistening appearance of silver in my hair.  I have not dyed my hair in months.  I want to know what she knows.  I want to know what my real hair color looks like under the remnants of the last dye job.  Truthfully I am tired of the effort it takes to color my hair.  What is the point of looking younger than I am?  You see coloring the hair is almost like telling a little white lie (yes pun intended).  It allows me and you to pretend that I am a different version of me.  And each time I color my hair and the dye goes down the bathroom sink I wonder where does it go? Out to the ocean?  Am I polluting my beloved ocean merely for the sake of vanity?

Yemaya and Crone Mother are knocking at my door waiting to be let in.  But how can I allow the crone to enter when mother I have not been?  A maiden I have been. And maidens become mothers which ultimately transform the feminine into divine wisdom. I do not know if I am ready.  I hear them but chose to ignore them in my silence.

A friend said I will look older if I allow the grey to be.  A fellow actor said I might book more.  I think there is a peace that women achieve when they reach the stage where they open the door to the wisdom of the Crone.  I am not there yet.  I want to be all moved in with everything in its proper place. Furniture fixed and painted and looking new, well at least looking matched. I’d like to see the art back up on the walls but there is this fatigue that overcomes me.

I have had health issues since October 2013. I have lost my sense of taste and smell or rather I have a distorted sense of taste and smell–which has limited what I can eat. And I have this constant fatigue-that never seems to go away. My right hand is slightly crippled from the dog bite and a couple of months ago I slammed the same right hand with the car door. My middle finger is still swollen and not totally healed.  So you see there is much that keeps me from entertaining Mother Crone.  But she is there like a shadowy ghost beckoning me, to follow her to take the leap for what follows next in my life.

Is there an in between for me that can fill the gap of non-motherhood. Can I redefine Mother Crone into a Wisdom Goddess that truly reflects who I am and who I have been?

white haired goddess2

 

So I have to wonder have I resigned myself that certain dreams will never be or am I accepting that life has many stages and the time has come to move on?

[1] http://www.medicinenet.com/menopause/article.htm accessed on June 28 2014

 

7 Scary Ways Meat Is Messing Up Your Body


Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey:

A wonderful science based article by a Cardiologist on how meat hurt the human body. Read on and enjoy :)

Originally posted on My Vegan Heart Blog:

BrownCows900-850x400

A wonderful article  BY   DR. JOEL KAHN  found on http://www.mindbodygreen.com

 http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14098/7-scary-ways-meat-is-messing-up-your-body.html

Article accessed on June 22 2014

No aspect of wellness is as loudly debated as how we should eat. People just don’t argue over styles of yoga, meditation, or exercise the way they do about food. As a cardiologist, my bias is toward science. I’m interested in an analysis of research data so that I can make recommendations to my patients for optimal health and longevity. (Though I’m also concerned about the welfare of animals and our planet, both of which are harmed by the production of animal products.)

It concerns me that high consumption of meat is associated with cancerheart disease anddiabetes. In order to evaluate your plate and fork, here are 7 scientifically-proven harmful chemicals that are impacted by eating meat (but are rarely discussed).

1. High sensitivity C-reactive protein (hs-CRP)

hs-CRP is…

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