Pro-Life or Pro-Choice……Part Three

 

There was another abortion.  I would like to say that there had only been one but no, there had been a second abortion two or three years later.

I had broken up with the first boyfriend. He had the audacity to tell me that we “almost’ had a baby together. “ Really…did you just say that to me”.  How dare he?!  He did not have the right to say that to me when it was his choice not mine.

Well, boyfriend number two was an alcoholic but I did not know it.  I hadn’t’ known any alcoholics before him.  Breakfast for him was a beer and a joint.

Then the cocaine started.  One night he was so high that he came into the bedroom and started choking me.  I got away from him…grabbed my car keys and barefoot in my flannel pajamas drove to my mother’s home at 3:00 o’clock in the morning.  That was it I was done. 

Shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant.  There was no way I could have a baby with a man who was an alcoholic and addicted to drugs.   This was not what I had envisioned for the father of my child.

This abortion was done in the doctor’s office on a local anesthetic , which meant I felt it.  I felt the baby being ripped out of my body.

It haunts me to this day…….  to be continued……

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice….Part Two

 

PART  TWO

Women were having abortions left and right that day.  One woman was on her 7^th–abortion is not a form of birth control.  It felt like I was being part of a meat market that day.  There was no physical pain because I was put under….but the emotional scars I carry with me to this day.

I remember going to a restaurant with my then boyfriend and there was a baby in a high chair…I started crying I could not control myself.  For a long time every time I saw a baby or a pregnant woman I would start to cry. 

When my first nephew was born I went t the hospital but after my sister went home with her baby I could not bring myself to visit her.  I avoided her for at least a month.  This is the same sister who called me a murderer when I had my abortion. 

My mother of course, was upset that I had not seen my sister or nephew since the birth.  I just couldn’t.  I could not face her or the baby. But the day came when I could not avoid it any longer.  I told her that I was sorry that I had not been around and she said, “I know”.  She understood why I could not come around.  I did not think it was fair.  Why did she get to have her baby when I couldn’t?  This was my reasoning at the time, however illogical it may have been.

My child would have been twenty-eight years old.  It is hard to imagine being the mother of a twenty-eight year old or a twenty-six year old right now…..to be continued