”I love being a girlie girl, but I spend so much time having to be a man, that I sometimes forget to be a girlie girl around you, so please be my hero man so I can be a girlie girl for you……”
The conundrum of the modern woman is that in order to be a success in the career world we have to become men. We become independent, we do things for ourselves and we develop a tough shell. But who wants to caress a tough shell. Men have a need for the softness of the feminine. That is not to say that all that is feminine is pink and girlie. For me it is. It is when I am dressed up-made-up-perfumed up–looking like a doll- that I am the most in touch with my feminine side-my soft side.
Every woman has her own version of what defines feminine. It does not matter what it looks like on the outside because that is a varied as there are women on the planet.
But what it looks like on the inside is pretty much the same.
It is when we are at our most vulnerable. It is when we have the potential t o feel like we are in the most danger–that we are not safe.
And what makes most any woman feel that way is when we relinquish control and trust that our other will keep us safe, that our partner-date-husband-boyfriend- will protect us from the deadly tiger at the door.
Now don’t get me wrong I am perfectly capable of dealing with the tiger at the door, but when I am in that mode I am most definitely not in my feminine mode. I am not relaxing–my mind is going full speed ahead, because I am not going to wait untill the tiger is at the door to have my plan. My plan will be in action. And that may look like the laundry has to be done first—my work needs to get done–the bills need to get–I have to fix dinner–because you see these are my modern-day tigers.
And when I am in fighting tiger mode–It is not pretty. It is do not get in my way and do not become an obstacle because if you are not fixing the problem then you are the problem and I don’t care if I am fat-haven’t taken a shower-and don’t even think about sex—-thank you very much.
Tiger mode means that I can’t trust anyone or have any one else to take care of me.
But that isn’t really who I am.
Inside I am that little girl who loves to wear pink-fancy jewlery-smell yummy and enticing and wants to have a knight in shining armor to battle some of the dragons and tigers at the door.
I want to feel safe. I want to know that you can slay the dragons and tigers in the event I just don’t want to or I am too tired.
Every now and then all I want to think about is how pretty I can be for you and how much I just want to adore you.
So please be my hero-man so I can just be a girlie girl every now and then.
February 8, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Hey Ivonne,
Your Post hast just described my current problem with guys pretty well.
As you may know I’m finished with school and I can’t decide what I want to study or work, because I can’t decide if it’s more important for me to get a safe job where I can have a great career (+ lots of money) or an unsafe one which makes more fun, but isn’t paid very well and hard to life big with… And boys are also part of this whole mess, because I’m afraid if I earn too much money men would be discouraged to approach me (know what I mean?). I mean, most of the men don’t want a “stronger” woman, don’t they? And it’s already hard enough for me to find some potential boyfriends…
ok,I got off the point quite a bit, but what I’m saying is that I am afraid of seeming too strong, because that would mean I needn’t to be rescued by someone, but I definetly want to!! I know it’s a fault, but I’m still waiting for the one to come and get me and make the world smile again….
Love, Theresa
February 9, 2011 at 1:48 am
dear teresa,
never be less than who you really are, especially just to satisfy some mans’ ego. be who you are strong, independent and make lots of money and have fun at the same time. don’t ever feel that you have to compromise anything in life. it is tough because there are less men who really want strong women. but I want a man who wants a strong woman…they are usually better quality men and def worth waiting for. but we need to be happy first because no one or no thing can really do it for us. and as you know that has been one of my greatest struggles—trying to find happiness around the crazyness that surronds me sometime….but there is hope …I have a date tonight …first once since the “jackson” episode…..we will see how it turns out
…so be strong….be you…because when you are the most you….that is when your soulmate will recognize you….
luv u lots
xoxoxo
ivonne