Happy Holy Days…….

 

May these

Holy Days of Celebration & Remembrance

find your heart filled with love,

your mind filled with peace,

your days filled with joy,

and your future filled with prosperity……..

La Sirene e il marinao

 

Nel mito delle sirene e il mare

si dice

Che il canto delle sirene

si è portato piu di un marinaio

ai fondi del mare.

 

La sua voce, la dolcezza che

cattura l=anima del marinaio,

le sue labbra di  ciliegia, il  suo petto rotondi e sodo,

la sua pelle vellutata che riflette i raggi di sole

ipnotizza la vista del marinaio.

 

Perso nel suo cammino

per il miraggio di passione

che gli si confronta con la sirena.

 

…ah maledetta sirena…..

Questa volta sarà  lei

 

la captivita del marinaio…

 

Sono i suoi occhi

che riflettono i raggi di sole

sono le sue  labbra e il suo sorriso

che riflette la luce delle stelle

 

…e come una falena

che vola dentro il fuoco…..

 

La maladetta sirena

nuota verso al barca del marinaio

 

e un patto con il diavolo  fa                          

per cambiare la sua coda

per un paio di gambe femminili

 

per

 

scalare sulla barca

e sottomettersi al marinaio

che ha pescato e catturato

la sua anima e il  suo cuore.

The Window Washer

 

 

April 13, 2004

 I was sitting getting my nails done because I had an audition later that afternoon when he walked into the salon, an unassuming gentleman and in whose eyes you could see humility and humbleness.  He was of small stature not more than 5′ 4″ tall, blond, and  his face reflected back many long hard years. He along with his partner of Latino decent were there to wash the mirrors.

 I was simply fascinated by the work he was doing. It was as if he was dancing, the mirror being his partner.  In his right hand he held a squeegee, the tool of his trade and in his left some old newspaper.

  And thus the dance began, with the squeegee in his right hand he made s’s, slowly, softly and as graceful as a figure skater upon the ice making figure eight’s. 

And with the left hand he caught the water drippings from the squeegee.  Not a smudge was to be seen on that silvery lake. He seemed  oblivious to those around him. 

 I turned to watch his partner who was not quite as comfortable or had yet perfected the task at hand.

They worked swiftly and efficiently.  They could not have been there more than 10 minutes when their work was done.  It is strange how in the small quick moments of life we are often profoundly affected.

He approached the manager who was doing my nails at the time which allowed me to look deeply into his eyes.  What I saw was a soul who had worked too hard for far too long for too little pay.

 ”Eight dollars” he said,  I was stunned.  Eight dollars for the completed task.  The manager handed him a ten-dollar bill.  When he went to give her change she told him to keep it.  Ten dollars split into two gave each man five dollars apiece. 

He negotiated the next appointment, “three weeks”, he said.  “No, four weeks”,  the manager said.  “We will come back in three to four weeks”, he said.

And out the door they sauntered off.  Buckets swinging side to side.  Their image slowing getting smaller as they walked to their next destination.

 And I was in awe of how blessed I am.  That the least I ever make is $70.00 dollars an hour for being a clown (my day job), and doing something fun that I enjoy.

 Their humble image seared into my brain to serve as a reminder lest I should dare to complain.

Fire Dancer…..

…  I think of you

day & night…..

 

   ..thoughts of you filter through my brain                                                  

as I drift off to sleep

& thus the tempest rises forth.

 

..and I toss and I turn

because your lingering memory will not fade.

 

I think of your long mane,

Royal & Majestic

 

I think of your soft hands

moving upon my body.

 

I think of your body covered

in the symbology of spirit.

 

I think of your ass, nice and round,

and the way it sits in black leather.

 

I think of how your hips

sway as you dance with fire

and how your feet glide

in total syncopation

Like a snake slithering

through flames.

 

..and I think of how

filled up I feel when

you are inside of me…

 

…and I want to be

that fire, that flame

that so willingly

submits & surrenders

 

to your dance

    your art,

    your GOD

demi-god

I AM here

to give homage

to the

Demi-God.

 

I AM here

to drink the nectar

of your soul,

to quench my thirst and hunger,

to fill my cells, my very being

with your essence.

 

I AM here

to gaze upon your face, your body

to look into your eyes and see

Blessed Father, the Most High

smiling back at me

 

As the prodigal daughter

returns to reunite

with the prodigal son.

 

And in that union

bring forth

Heaven on Earth.       

 

I love you with my soul,

throughout time,

throughout eternity….

I love you with the depth of my heart,

inside you will find your soul and your dreams,

I love you with every fiber of my body—

I submit and surrender to your body and your love….

……I am merely the reflection of your essence,

 your love, your soul….

…the eternal dance……

I do not want the passions of youth…for they are but briefs moments in time…

I do not want the excitement of someone new for that too fades…..

what I do want is what they have….

you see that elderly couple dancing over there…

the ones that have been married for 50 years…

do you see the way he holds her still?……

do you see the twinkle in his eyes? ….

do you see the radiance in her smile full of love?….

that my friend, is what I desire…

……a love that lasts through eternity…….

a love note…….

 

 

Was there a Buddha

Before Buddha?

 

Was there a Jesus      

Before the Christ?

 

Where is this Master

that you seek?

 

Great Avatars are these

who walked in no one’s shadow.

 

Masters of light

Walking the planet

as mortals.

 

There was no master

before Buddha.

 

There was no master

before Christ.

 

Where is this Master

that you seek?

 

You walk upon the earth

disguised as a mere mortal.

 

Take off the mask

& CLAIM your birthright…

 

…Demi-God,

Master of Light & Fire

Son of the Most High….

Fifty and Fabulous…….

Last week I celebrated my 50 th Birthday by having a Pirate Costume Party.

In my last post I wrote that by my 50th Birthday I wanted to be fabulous.  Fabulous meaning that I would lose the excess weight and buddha belly and that I would be one hot momma !!!!!!

That’s what I did for my 40th Birthday and I looked hot.

Actually I have been a hottie all of my life but I just did not know it at the time.

It has taken getting older and seeing pictures of myself as I looked a long time ago to realize that what I was feeling on the inside did not match what people were seeing on the outside.

So I lived my life and made my choices as the ugly girl, the unwanted girl because that is what I felt like on the inside.  I did not get by on looks, after all I did not realize I had any.  I developed my brains and my personality.

As I have gotten older and matured I realized I was attractive, somewhere in my 30′s and I would get bored if men told me I was beautiful because I felt like the only stopped at the window dressing and did not go beyond what they were seeing to really “see” me.

The funny thing is that I really did not see myself either.

And 50 is such a big fat number.  I have now jumped into another age group category when filling out forms (sacry…so scary…).

I am struggling with the perceptions I had of women who were 50 when I was young as compared to how I feel about myself.

I am still single and would love to be with my soul mate (Jesus, Lord where in hell is he btw?) so I can not fall into the “well I’m 50 now and old”.

I am fighting that, in my mind at least….

Yes, I am 50. 

Yes, I color my hair to hide the gray (so not ready for that yet). 

Although I do look good in really white hair, you know that silver white but what I have is not that, at least not yet.

And yes, I am about 15-20 lbs over weight….but guess what?

Fifty and Fabulous is not about my physical state and what my outsides look like.

Fifty and Fabulous is an internal state of mind.

So my outside still does not match the inside of me but what I do know is that even though I am 50, even though I have gray that I hide, even though I am a little (cough–cough) over-weight I am FABULOUS.

I am still a hottie because being a hottie is more a state of mind than a physical state.

Now, don’t get me wrong I am still plan to on work outside.  The goal is to ultimately have the balance between mind-body-spirt.

So, to all the ladies out there 50+…keep on being fabulous…

And to all the young ladies minus 50 know that you are already fabulous just as you are and please don’t wait until you are 50 to embrace that.