And while this hotel room was much bigger and really seemed like a small apt it was still not really big enough for three people.
I found myself caught in between Lisa’s desires and Jay’s wants. Lisa wanting to play tourist since we did not have a show to do and Jay focused on appeasing Amir and trying to get payment for the artist.
There were two reasons I was not so anxious to play tourist. One reason being that with Jay having no money that only left my bank account. And of course I am thinking Jay and I will be having a future together, after he has called me his soul-mate, talked about touring together that he loved me..yada…yada…yada…so I thinking more like a partner so it was up to me to get us through this situation. Not knowing what else could possibly come up I certainly did not want to spend money playing tourist. Jay kept encouraging to go out and spend the day with Lisa but I had this gnawing fear that if I left Jay alone for a whole day Lisa and I would come back to an empty hotel room and I would have a huge bill to pay. This subconscious fear, subconscious because at the time I could not even articulate this to Lisa. All I knew was that it wasn’t a good idea to leave Jay alone for a whole day. It did not feel like the safe thing to do.
Nor could we really plan anything in advance because Amir kept changing times and meetings on Jay.
So there we were like three animals trapped in a cage. Jay and I were arguing about the schedule when Lisa ran out of the living room into her room crying. I gave Jay a dirty look and I ran after Lisa. I was able to calm her down and I told her we would go on the “Hop-on Hop-off Bus” and take in the sights. I came back out to the living room and pretty much told Jay to knock it off and behave himself that we were going to play tourist for the day for Lisa and he was going to like it.
After walking around what seemed like the whole city we finally found the tourist bus in China-town. We went to the Buddhist temple, the Muslim Mosque and the Prime Ministers Place. We stopped for drinks on the way back in China-town and I get drunk on a long island iced tea. Boy, did I need that. I felt like a mum with two small kids that had to be entertained.
I felt bad that I felt like I was letting my girlfriend down, especially since she had cancer but Jay was acting like such an asshole it brought out my ugly side. And of course I paid for the bus tickets and for lunch and for drinks.
As a matter of fact the usual routine was I would give Jay money in the morning, he would put it in his wallet so it looked like he was paying for everything–but in actuality it was my money he was paying with.
In the mornings the three of us would go down to breakfast and then we would come back to the room so that Jay could practice guitar. After Jay and I checked emails and got some work done then it became the issue of what to do with the day.
The area where we were staying at came alive in the evenings. There would be tables and chairs out and the locals would be having dinner al fresco. That was fun. And we found so many cheap massage places, that we would all do that as well.
But there was no getting away from the tensions that were building between myself and Jay. We were experiencing each other at our worst–okay Jay’s worst–my best– because given all the circumstances and the fact that as of this writing the man is still alive yeah I was doing pretty good.
On one of the evenings Lisa went to bed early and Jay and I were left in the living room alone. We had a talk that night. I asked Jay if he wanted me to move to Australia? He did not want to be away from his kids. I told him I would move to Australia. My only conditions were that I had to live close to the beach–and I am pretty sure Australia had beaches and that my animals had to come with me. That was it–that was what I needed to be with him. But mind you not as his mistress–we are talking divorce in progress Jay’s moves out and we got on with life and he gets the kids on the weekends like most divorced Dads. But Jay was not sure what he wanted. He also took it upon himself to tell me that my weight was an issue for him. His perfect lover would weigh 20 pounds less than what I did. Yes, I did gain about 8 pounds in Malaysia not having access to my usual food but good-God I was a size 8. Not a word came out of my mouth for about ten minutes. All I could say to him was that yes, I had been struggling with my weight for the past couple of years. That was my first clue that maybe he was not my soul-mate after all. I really believe that when you truly love someone things like weight (mine) or old wrinkled face (his) don’t get in the way of your love. But it wasn’t just my weight that bothered Jay. Oh no, he had a small laundry list. My hair was too short, he did not like my tattoos or my piercings, nor did he care for my choice of perfume. Needless to say that after that night the only time Jay saw me nude was when we were having sex. I no longer changed my clothes in front of him or took a shower in front of him. Never in my friggin life had anyone ever said anything like that to me.
Yes, the man is still alive. Truly he is lucky I did not kill him on the spot……..to be continued……
- Scandal in Malyasia…….Part 5 (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malaysia……. Part Seven (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malaysia ……..Part 3 (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malaysia…..Part Two (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malaysia……..part 1 (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malaysia…..Part Six (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)
- Scandal in Malayasia…….Part 4 (ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com)