The First Wife’s Club…….Mayr’s story…..

You have all read my about my story with Jay Scott Berry we are now going to move just a bit  backwards in time to the space in the middle of my first relationship with Jay and the most recent “joyful” encounter.

Jay left me for a woman named Belle, a singer. He was with her for eight years and right before he ended it with Belle he met Mayr. 

Mayr is my guest blogger and this is her story…..

Mayr & Jay in the beginning.

It was the first of April and I was on my way to my best friend Bob’s house to celebrate his birthday. It was going to be an informal gathering with a magician friend of his and the guy’s girlfriend that were in town for the occasion. I didn’t pay much attention to this as at the time I was working in the music industry and hanging out with people like Bob Seger, John Waite and Corey Hart. Magicians in my opinion at that time, from my limited exposure, were all goofy and nerd like. So I didn’t think anything more of it.

Bob and I had developed a close platonic relationship similar to that of Jerry and Elaine of Seinfeld. We were friends who experimented briefly with dating, but felt more comfortable without the trappings and expectations of a romantic relationship. I was not in an emotionally stable place either as the passionate love relationships I had were toxic and abusive. I wasn’t emotionally strong enough for a healthy relationship, and quite frankly at that point in my life (due to low-self esteem reasons) I was positive a happy relationship and marriage were not in the cards for me … and I was okay with that.

In the years that Bob and I had been close buds, no one ever answered his door so you can imagine my surprise when a different individual answered Bob’s door. It was a lovely young blonde man with a very lovely disposition and personality. I remember the meeting to this day because the shock of someone other than Bob hit me so hard, that rather than just saying hello how are you, I witnessed this meeting from outside my body. I was watching me and this guy meet from the ceiling … it was so bizarre.

He introduced himself as Jay Scott Berry. Bob apparently was still getting dressed. He was with his girlfriend, Belle ( Ivonne’s note–Belle was the woman who Jay left me for)  but I don’t recall her at all that evening. It wasn’t because I was honed in on picking up and starting a relationship with Jay, it’s because her energy was so different from his. He had a Peter Pan spirit, youthful, playful full of energy and laughter. She on the other hand was quiet, serious and didn’t say two words to me. Her energy was not receptive and I didn’t think twice of it. I enjoyed the company of my friend, Bob and focused on him since it was his birthday and his buddy Jay that just made me laugh.

The next day, all four of us headed out to Disneyland to hang out together. I remember waiting for about 20 minutes after we entered the park while Jay’s girlfriend and her sister (who had joined us) went to the bathroom. I recall how odd it was for him to be matched up with such a serious lady whose energy was a complete downer that day. She and her sister were in their own world and we usually had to wait for them for one reason or another. I chose to ignore it and just focused on having fun with Bob. Jay apparently did the same thing, as he tuned out his girlfriend and sister the entire day. The three of us had so much fun, we forgot they were even there.

I kept wondering, why is this guy with this woman? They aren’t married, they have no children, she is seven years his senior. Clearly not a match made in heaven. What I wasn’t aware of and found out shortly thereafter, is that this relationship was on the way out. As Jay and I became closer, he confessed to me so many different things about why he was about to get out of this relationship especially now that he had met me. This was exciting news, and I really hit it off with this guy. We had so much in common, favorite TV shows, movies, music … it was like this was the missing half of me! But he was in a relationship, in a business partnership and I did not want to be the reason (or blame) for his leaving a relationship.

In the meantime because I had my heart stomped, chewed and thrown back at me by several failed relationships, I was playing the field with men I didn’t really care about deeply or was committed to because of my low self-esteem issues. I was only dating men that were unavailable for a relationship because I was not gung-ho about them. In fact, when Jay and I discussed our becoming involved, I was clear that if we were to do so, we would clear out the way (I would break off my involvement with the men I was casually dating) and he would break up with his girlfriend.

He was scheduled to take a trip to Japan with Belle, and upon his return he and I would commence our relationship. After meeting me he decided that his affections for me were so strong (writing similar love letters to me like he did Ivonne, taking me to similar parks with flowers as Ivonne mentioned he did with her) and he left his girlfriend behind on his trip to Japan.

In the meantime, while he was away, he was phoning me, professing his undying love and affection, telling me he couldn’t wait to return and begin our life together. I couldn’t believe this was for real. So I systematically broke off my relationships with the men I was dating and waited for his return …

Note: While I was waiting for his return, he embarked on a passionate two-week affair with the woman who was assigned to him as his translator on the Japanese trip. (Ivonne’s note: There is more to this story and it is very ugly, such that when I saw the pictures recently it really upset me at the god-awfulness of this man.  Also after this he was never asked back to perform in Japan.)

Because this realization was disclosed well after we had already moved in together and made a commitment toward our new life … I forgave him and moved forward … something I would learn to regret later during the course of our relationship.  What is it that I regret? ……ignoring all the red flags!!!  to be continued…….

Jay & Japanese translator

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