Confessions of a wayward soul…..The Indecent Proposal

 

I thought I was done with this story and that I could start moving on.  But wouldn’t you know it every time I start to walk away God/The Universe thunks me in the head with another piece of this puzzle dragging me back into the story.  It has become quite apparent that this story is not finished–there is more to tell.  The most recent piece of the story will appear in another blog post.  But it has been recommended to me that I must detail certain aspects of this story.

……the story continues……

The Indecent Proposal

Jay Scott Berry was that long ago love that had reappeared in my life last Dec. 2011.  He asked me to work with him as his personal manager for music.  Via Facebook we had started communicating again.  I have to admit that I had started to fall back in love with him yet again.  That was the dilemma. Could I work closely with a man who I was in love with that I knew was married?  I accepted the position knowing it was a path I was meant to take whatever the outcome.  We started working together via Skype on an almost daily basis.  Jay was becoming an integral part of my daily life once again.

He was due back in Los Angeles on Feb. 1 2012.  It would be the first time I would see him in the last 15 or so years.  The last time being a performance of his at the Hollywood Magic Castle that I saw with my then husband.

Jay arrives on Feb 1 2012.  He comes bearing a bouquet of flowers–they were quite lovely and it was quite unexpected.  The funny thing is that I had gone to Trader Joes the day prior and bought myself a bouquet of flowers and the bouquet I had bought for myself was bigger than the one he had given me.  I kind of felt bad and hid the bouquet I had bought in the kitchen.  And although I love getting flowers given the fact that we were supposed to be in a working relationship it did seem a bit inappropriate.

It was a long flight.  He was tired and wanted to take a shower and he had dirty laundry.  I told him not a problem.  He could take a shower and a nap and I would put in the laundry for him. I have one of those beds that you can adjust and raise up or down.  I was explaining to him how to work the remote when he says to me, “I remember we used to take naps together”…….on that note I say to him, ” hmnn I don’t trust myself in the room with you”….and I exited the bedroom.  Again quite an inappropriate statement for him to be making.

When he awoke from his nap I suggested a small tour of Long Beach before we did any work.  I took him to my favorite spots on the beach and to Naples, where I would love to live on the canals.  It is such a European like neighborhood smack in the middle of Long Beach.

On the return drive we somehow started talking about relationships and soul mates. He asked me, “What if your soul mate was stuck in another relationship?”  My response to him was, “Well, then he better get unstuck.”

We get back inside , he turns on his laptop so we can go over this appointments and schedule for the following two weeks.

He turns to me and says, “We need to talk about the elephant in the room.”  “What elephant are you talking about?”  “The fact that we still have feelings for each other after all of these years”, he says. I tell him, “I am still in love with you and I had feelings from the moment I saw you.”  “I know, I feel the same way.  I kept thinking about you on the airplane and I was getting a hard on.”  Yes, he actually said that to me–is that romantic or what?

He continues, “We need to talk about this.  I want to have a relationship with you but we need to set some ground rules.  We can’t let a personal relationship get in the way of work.”  I am quite dumbfounded to say the least.  “What about your marriage?” He proceeds to tell me, “I am in love with my wife and I don’t plan on leaving her.”  “Do you have an open marriage?” I ask him.  “No, but I didn’t take a vow of monogamy,” he tells me.  “I believe it’s implied in the marriage vows,” I respond.

He then proceeds to tell me that his wife doesn’t like to have sex.  Sex has always been an issue for them.  That she would rather curl up with a romance novel than be with her own husband at the end of the day.  He continues to justify that if a wife doesn’t want to have sex with her husband shouldn’t he be free to get it elsewhere?  This seemed all so easy for him.  “Have you cheated on your wife before?”  “No never” he responds.  What I would eventually come to find out is that I am at least  the third woman that he has cheated on his wife with.

The shock that I was feeling must have been apparent on my face because he then tells me,”Don’t give me an answer now. But just think about it please.”

seriously, when he said we needed to talk about the elephant in the room I honestly thought it was going to go more like, yes we have feelings for each other but I am happily married so let’s just keep this to a professional relationship.

……to be continued………

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Back to the beginning: Summer of 1980…..

 

The summer of 1980 was spent rehearsing for my first legitimate (meaning paid) acting job. I was cast in the play, “Contijo, Pan y Cebolla” by Cuban playwright Hector Quintero at the Bi-lingual Foundation of the Arts. It was also the summer I was learning how to juggle and I was also introduced to the world of magic and metaphysics.

I was an actor and I was learning and honing my craft.  I was also only 18, a virgin and still very naive about life and the world.   I didn’t even know how to drive a car. All that would change before the year was out.

I would take the bus to rehearsals, to juggling lessons, to the Hollywood Magic Store and to Westwood where I would hang out with the street performers.  If I was paying attention I wouldn’t miss the last bus..but if I was having fun I would often miss the last number 12 bus which would take me right around the corner from where I lived and then would have to catch the number 7 bus which would leave me like 8 blocks from where I lived.  Sometimes, I could call one of my uncles that lived next door to us and they might come and pick me up but I do remember having to walk the eight blocks home alone in the middle of the night.  Something that at my age now I would never do but when you are 18 years old it’s as if you are invincible.  That combined with the fact that the part of the brain which can calculate consequences has not fully formed yet in the teenager often makes for some pretty poor choices.

But anything was better that being at home cooped up with a mother who was taking Valium because she wasn’t handling life after divorce well.

The theatre and my performer friends were my escape from the emotionally abusive childhood that I had.

I would rehearse the play weeknights and often Andy Garcia, the Andy Garcia would drop me off in Hollywood at JSB’s apartment…….days were spent with JSB in Hollywood…Saturday nights I spent in Westwood Village…..

It was the beginning of my dreams of life as an artist………to be continued….

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