Single on Valentine’s Day

If you are single there seems to  be this tendency to dread this holiday. If you are male and dating there is also dread and angst concerning Feb. 14.  There are too many expectations which are tied into this day.

But what really is Valentine’s Day.

There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine’s Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it “From Your Valentine”.

Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270.

In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.

At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine’s Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.

In the United States, Miss Esther Howland is given credit for sending the first valentine cards. Commercial valentines were introduced in the 1800’s and now the date is very commercialised.

So how does one avoid the commercialism of Valentine’s Day which for single women can often bring depression, sadness and feelings of why doesn’t anyone love me?

Love is not something we attract to ourselves but rather it should emanate from within.

So the question really should be, how do I get to express love on Valentine’s Day?

Every year I buy a Valentine for my soul mate and I put it away in a special tin.  Actually I do this for most holidays.  And I get joy out of reading the cards knowing that same day I will be able to sign them.

What would I do if my soul mate were in my life?  Well, I would probably buy new lingerie and I did.

I would buy a new outfit and I did.  All these actions according to the law of attraction are called “living as if”.

These are all great but how does this express outward love? You must love your self first and do things which empower you in order to be able to love others.

So, do something you love on Valentine’s Day. Get a massage-Volunteer at an animal shelter-volunteer at a children’s hospital-Go to Disneyland-spend time with family, do whatever makes you feel loving and loved.

As for myself, I am getting together with a group of friends and we are going to watch vampire movies.  Vampire movies, rather appropriate I think, as the myth of the vampire in modern day employs elements of sensuality and eternal and are not those elements also aspects of one’s soul mate?


3 Responses to “Single on Valentine’s Day”

  1. pajuil43 Says:

    on february the 14 i look at my heart every year and guest what it its always the same, but then i look into my felings and every year it is DIFFERENT.

  2. radaronelson Says:

    If your male and married you dread this day LOL

  3. LB Cole Says:

    If you’re recently divorced you dread this holiday as well! lol. Love how you referenced the Law of Attraction and how “Love” is something we emanate from within. Great post.

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