The Cart Before the Horse


As much as I would like to think that I have great profound wisdom, welled up inside of me waiting to spring forth and to illuminate the world and change lives ( and maybe there is an aspect of that), the truth of the matter I’m just a person like everyone else out there struggling to find love in life.

My childhood was just as dysfunctional as anyone else’s.

I did not learn about unconditional love until I got my first dog as an adult.

So being in relationship was quite a challenge because the only model that I had, had been that of my divorced parents, and it was not a very good model.

My dad has been with wife number two for about 28 years (my step mom is only eight years older than me).

And my mother is on husband number three.

My marriage was definitely a challenge because I really did not know what partnership consisted of.

Therapy helps-self-help books help- seminars help-workshops help.

Any process that takes you to the dark abyss of your soul where you must confront yourself helps to heal and renew your being into a whole and complete soul.

You see the thing is you can not look to a soul mate to heal you or complete you.  That line, “You complete me”, sounded so romantic in the film Jerry Maguire but if we look to another to complete us we will be left with an empty feeling, this black hole in our gut.

That is the irony or paradox of searching for your soul mate.  You must find yourself first.  You must heal yourself and feel completed before you can draw in your soul mate.

The mind-set must be that of sharing.  I want to share my life with another.  I want to love another.  I want to bring  joy to another.  You heart must already be overflowing with love.

Your heart can not be an empty cup that is waiting to be filled by someone else.  You heart must over flow.  And that over flow will be a river that will sail you to your soul mate.

So, do not put the cart before the horse.

Love thyself….love life….let your joy and happiness be the illuminating path to your beloved.

….love note….

…beloved, love must always overcome the fear…the uncertainty…the unknown…the shadows, then and only then will our souls become luminaries on the path, love when trusted will transcend…..

2 Responses to “The Cart Before the Horse”

  1. radaronelson Says:

    We had similar parents. My mother was married twice, she is alone now and my dad married 4 times, my mom, then bounced between 2 other women till he settled on the one he is with now for the past 19 yrs. Here I am on number 2 myself. I am one though who doesn’t like to be alone either. I swore I wouldn’t remarry, I immediately started dating after I got separated which I said I wouldn’t do then I met my soul mate and 2 yrs later we were married. We don’t always know what our destinies are in life and love but we all have someone out there we just sometimes have to make a bunch of wrong choices before we find that person who is the right choice.

    • Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

      yes siree, have loads of experience with the wrong choices

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