So, I decide to take this intentional journey to attract my soul mate. To be conscious of my relationships, my thoughts and my feelings to keep me focused on my path.
But where do I start? What are my resources? One of the things I realized is that my friends are my resources. They are my resources for play, for spirit, for camaraderie, for conversation, for challenges to my intellect. But I am such a workaholic that I don’t make time for my friends.
How could I possibly draw a soul mate relationship into my life if I don’t even make time for the friends that I do have?
But that is not the only dilemma I have regarding my friends. You see, most of my friends are the people who I work with, who are also friends of my ex-husband. I realized this when I was at his wedding.
In order for me to move on and move forward not only did I have to make time for my friends but I had to make new friends as well.
When there is a divorce it is good to be on friendly terms, especially if you are in the same line of work and are friends with a lot of the same people.
But it is not really emotionally healthy. At least, not for me.
A friend of mine invited me to karaoke at a bar and I went in the attempt to expand my circle of friends and I even sang–of course I did apologize to all those at the bar–singing is not my thing. Well, I love to sing in the privacy of my home and it really should be kept that way.
Realization number two- do I really want to meet someone who hangs out at bars and drinks?–not my thing either.
So, here’s the thing. You have to have a full life in order to bring in your desired other.
My other can not be the sole source of my fun-my laughter-my downtime-or any thing else.
Life does not wait for the perfect moment or the perfect person to begin but when you consciously begin to have your life I believe the perfect person for you will show up.
So tomorrow, I am off to LACMA with two of my guy friends, my hang out buddies and we get to meet one of the guy’s new girl friend–the first one of our little group to have a significant other.
And I get to see some great art—and who knows what else or who else might transpire on a day amongst art, beauty and friends. 😉
My beloved let me paint a picture of my love for you,
And in that work you will see
the stars, the universe,
my soul laid bare,
and my heart embracing your soul….
Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey 
April 12, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Well those are some very valid issues. I have been in the same situation and have had to cut off “friends” that were toxic in my life. But that is just another way in which we grow and how we cope with our own change. Not everything in life is going to be simple or “care-free” and as you stated, your work is important to you. Due to this, you need to really cherish those connections you make with people and strive harder to forge new ones.
I think you might find my new blog interesting, especially my first post:
http://planb-publishing.com/MoralPhilosophy/
April 12, 2010 at 9:59 pm
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April 12, 2010 at 10:07 pm
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April 12, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I agree with what you have stated and have had similar experiences. All you can do is hold your head and realize that to change you must enact change.
April 13, 2010 at 4:13 am
I can relate to this. There was a point in my life when I had to cut out most of my friends due their toxic nature. At that time, it felt like the end of the world, it felt like I was cutting myself off from “society.” But what I came to realize was that this was a step in the right direction and a step towards my personal healing.
Just hang in there we all have been in some horrible situation, but what I have learned is that our wounds eventually heal.
dave.
April 14, 2010 at 1:01 am
if we have the opportunity to guide a blind person would we have that person to follow us, or would it be better to fallow the blind person in to his LIGHT.
December 19, 2012 at 10:04 am
I cut out all of me and my exes mutual friends. We’ll say she got the friends in the divorce. For me it was too awkward. I do think though you are on the right path.