We are all here because in some form or another we need healing in the area of our relationships. We are seeking a connection to others but what is Intimacy? What is it that we are seeing when we look for intimacy with others?
In the film, “Jerry Maguire”, Tom Cruise says ,”You complete me” and when I first heard that line I thought yes, how romantic but I have since learned otherwise. It takes two whole, healed and complete beings unto themselves to come together and then they can form an intimate relationship with each other.
When I worked on a Bank of America commercial the make-up artist said to me that “Intimacy” means IN-TO-ME-SEE. Intimacy is when we can expose ourselves, our heart, our soul, our fears, and our dreams to another human being knowing that we will be received for who we really are.
And isn’t that what we ultimately desire in our intimate relationships, to be really seen by our intimate partner?
In the film, “Avatar”, the NaVi express feelings of love by saying, “I see you”, which makes a lot more sense to me than, “You complete me”.
When we look to someone else to complete us there are gaps in us and parts of our self that remain unfulfilled. So when the other disappears or is sick or is unable to be there we feel pain. But that pain isn’t inflicted by the other partner. That is the pain that has always been there that never got healed inside of us. We thought it had gone away because our relationship became the bandage, our crutch.
So how can we be intimate with another human when we can not even be intimate with ourselves? That is the first step in having intimacy with another person. We have to be intimate with ourselves first. We have to heal our pains and hurts first. We have to face our own soul and that is the hardest part on the journey towards healing.
So let’s pray for courage, for wisdom, for self-knowledge, for self forgiveness so that we can be healed and bring light into all our relationships.
love & light