This morning while taking a shower I started thinking and asking myself why is it that after all these years with all the things that have happened to me, why is it that now I asked my doctor to put me on antidepressants?
And then it hit me…Manny is gone. After battling four different kinds of cancer and winning those battles, it was the fifth cancer that was too much for him. I thought he would win that battle just like the others and we continued to make plans to go to Spain and I encouraged him to write and work on his book, his memoirs.
Manny passed away on Dec 27, 2008, while I was having my Christmas party. I kind of like to think that he didn’t want to miss it and was their in spirit.
We met while working on the T.V. show “L.A. Law”. We became great friends.
Manny was from Cuba, the pre-Castro Cuba, with servants and big mansions and parties. We had talked about going to Cuba as well.
We shared Salsa music, fried plantains, mofongo, guavas and crazy latina mothers.
He directed the play I wrote, “Juan Y Rosa, La Virgen and Flan”.
He is the one who pointed out to me that I accomplish more when I am not in a relationship…and he was right. We all have that one person that we can bare our soul to, that one person that can tell us like it is and we listen.
Manny, was that person for me. He was the one person I could tell everything to and he never judged me, nor I him.
He was my soul mate, my best friend, my therapist, my personal cheerleader,…my beloved friend.
Manny hated the hypocrisy of funerals. He hated t see people crying and boo-hooing yet they weren’t there when the person was alive and he wanted none of that.
So, there was no funeral, no memorial. He was cremated and I did not get to mourn him properly.
And that is why I take those little blue pills, because my go-to guy is gone.
And this morning my tears joined the water flowing down my body as I realized that and I cried out to my friend, “Manny, I miss you and I hope you are watching over me…..”