…little blue pills…again

Back in October I decided to stop taking my little blue pills.

I had gotten a notice that the rent on my workshop space was going up by $300.00 and I needed to make cuts in my budget.

Well, I didn’t need those little blue pills, at least that is what I thought.  They cost $30.00 a month, since I don’t have health insurance.

Besides I did not want to rely on them for the rest of my life, after all, they were supposed to be a temporary fix..and I felt better.

So, where am I six months later?

I have been on the ledge of a dark precipace..staring into the darkness…clinging to my sanity..telling myself not to go there…but I slipped and into the rabbit hole I fell…..

…and darkness…despair….fear..anxiety…..embraced me..like a warm blanket in the cold…..

I failed…….so back to the blue pills we go…

there is a part of me that is fighting to be alive…that so desperately wants to experience joy..love…a life well lived…..but she has to be bigger than the darkness and sadness……and I don’t know how to do that without those little blue pills, that I have come to hate because it means that there is something so wrong with me……that death is often times more appealing to me than life…..

One Response to “…little blue pills…again”

  1. victor Says:

    una manana de esas que solo existen en el paraiso pues su belleza no hay palabras para desceibirla, me encontre colgalndo de un precipicio ya cuando mis manos creia yo no podian soportar mas mi peso y mi unica salida era dejarme caer abri mis ojos una vez mas, y cuando los abro ya no habia mas aquel precipicio sino un manto divino que me cubria de pies a la cabeza.


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