…little blue pills…again

Back in October I decided to stop taking my little blue pills.

I had gotten a notice that the rent on my workshop space was going up by $300.00 and I needed to make cuts in my budget.

Well, I didn’t need those little blue pills, at least that is what I thought.  They cost $30.00 a month, since I don’t have health insurance.

Besides I did not want to rely on them for the rest of my life, after all, they were supposed to be a temporary fix..and I felt better.

So, where am I six months later?

I have been on the ledge of a dark precipace..staring into the darkness…clinging to my sanity..telling myself not to go there…but I slipped and into the rabbit hole I fell…..

…and darkness…despair….fear..anxiety…..embraced me..like a warm blanket in the cold…..

I failed…….so back to the blue pills we go…

there is a part of me that is fighting to be alive…that so desperately wants to experience joy..love…a life well lived…..but she has to be bigger than the darkness and sadness……and I don’t know how to do that without those little blue pills, that I have come to hate because it means that there is something so wrong with me……that death is often times more appealing to me than life…..

One Response to “…little blue pills…again”

  1. victor Says:

    una manana de esas que solo existen en el paraiso pues su belleza no hay palabras para desceibirla, me encontre colgalndo de un precipicio ya cuando mis manos creia yo no podian soportar mas mi peso y mi unica salida era dejarme caer abri mis ojos una vez mas, y cuando los abro ya no habia mas aquel precipicio sino un manto divino que me cubria de pies a la cabeza.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

An Eye on Art

a blog about beautiful things

Piggy Love

How a pig changed our lives.

Psychopathyawareness's Blog

information about psychopaths

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Vegan Souls

Have Conscience? Go Vegan..

Armory of the Revolution

The most radical Animal Rights blog on Earth! Universal rights, ecosocialism, and political grenades by Roland Vincent.


Explorations in contemplative writing

The Tree Kisser

Fashion. Food. Activism. *No Animals Harmed

There's an Elephant in the Room blog

Thoughts about veganism. Promoting an end to the use and the property status of members of nonhuman species.

Paul and Cemanthe

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. The journey.


Del griego moderno ημερολόγιο (imerológio) "diario o calendario", a su vez de ημέρα (iméra) "día u horas de sol" y λόγια (lógia), "palabras o estudio". En fin, estudio del diario: de los días, de los años, del tiempo, de la vida; en forma de palabras.

Vegan Astronaut

A collection of vegan recipes, space stuff and my journey through Mars One


Unsolicited Social Commentary


Living Vegan In Charlotte, NC - Easy Vegan Recipes - Vegan Restaurant, Product, and Cookbook Reviews

Chitra's Healthy Kitchen

Recipes for healthy living


the politics of the feminine, by marnie olson

Global + Local = Glocal (Me)

Just a Local girl, living in a Global Wor-or-orld. . . .

%d bloggers like this: