…confessions of a wayward soul part two…..


This is the post where I fill in the blanks……..

A long time ago (thirty years to be exact)  a very young and very naive virgin Ivonne met a very charming and charismatic entertainer who would sweep her of her feet.  Her mother being the old-fashioned Latina mother that she was objected to her daughter dating and being involved with this young man, who was an up and coming junior magician of the world-famous Hollywood Magic Caste.

 

 

To continue reading go to, The Illusionist by Ivonne Montijo on amazon.com

 

World Wide amazon links here.

bookcover-kindle-70-percent-jan-223-4-pm

 

 

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…break up rituals…..


 

Well, last Tuesday I went through that all familiar break-up ritual.

You know the one I am talking about—-where you gather up all the things he still has at your place and put them all into a box and you set a mutually agreed upon date in which you will exchange and return personal belongings.

It’s the official “we are broken up and you have no more excuses to contact me “ritual.

But really underneath all of that is the “this is my last chance to see if we can fix things”.

That is the hope, desire, fantasy that somehow when you see each other again–the one who ended it realizes that they still want and need you.  Or is it that I am the only one who has these kind of fantasies?

Needless, to say all we did on that day was exchange belongings.  I really did not want him to have an excuse to contact me.  And the reason, I didn’t want any convenient excuses is because deep down I do want him to contact me but I want it to be for me…not because he needs the tux he left at my place.  I am hoping that as time moves that I may do so as well.  This one is really tough for me because this wasn’t just any guy.  Oh no, he was the fantasy guy, the one I fell in love with when I was 18 and a virgin—-that guy!

You would think that after a guy cheats on you and leaves you for another woman 30 years prior that I would have learned my lessons.  Oh no,not me I seem to have to learn things the hard way.  So he was here for two hours and we chit chatted about anything and everything but not anything that matters.  I still love him.  I still care about him.  And yes, you are all correct he does not deserve me to love him–I know that.  I also know that I deserve better than how he has treated me now and 30 years ago.  But I can’t deny the ache he has left in my heart.  In the mean time I have written a song about the experience….enjoy…..

Boxes of Memories

You stopped on by to pick up the last of your things

you took your clothes…I gave you back the ring…

that all familiar break-up ritual that’s not so kind

but the one thing you left behind

was the ache in my heart

and all the dreams that fell apart

 

the picture frames….that beat up chair..

the way you used to tug my hair

the sweatshirt in the closet

that I would snuggle up to

that last little bit of you

reminders of all we had……

You stopped on by to pick up the last of your things

you took your clothes…I gave you back the ring…

that all familiar break-up ritual that’s not so kind

but the one thing you left behind

was the ache in my heart

and all the dreams that fell apart

 

Boxes full of things

don’t mean much to me

but tell me what should I do

with the boxes of memories

made by me and you…..

You stopped on by to pick up the last of your things

you took your clothes…I gave you back the ring…

that all familiar break-up ritual that’s not so kind

but the one thing you left behind

was the ache in my heart

and all the dreams that fell apart

I gave you all I had to give

but it wasn’t enough

to make you mine……

I’d do it all over again

but hope for a different end

I’d do it all over again

but hope for a different end

that comes with a heart filled with love

and boxes of dreams…….

~♥ ivonne p montijo ♥~© 2012

….Daddy’s Girl…..


Image

daddy’s girl

I no longer have my hair in pig tails and curls

but deep down in my heart

I’m still daddy’s little girl

I may be grown up

but there’s still an ache in my heart

when you tore us apart……..

I remember chocolate kisses,

you fixin’ my broken toys, super hero games and  guitar serenades

anxiously waiting for the day to end

and jumping in your arms

as you came through the door…

I no longer have my hair in pig tails and curls

but deep down in my heart

I’m still daddy’s little girl

I may be grown up

but there’s still an ache in my heart

when you tore us apart……..

You went away

you said you couldn’t stay

you and mom had to part your ways

you moved on

but life seemed to stop for me

as you went on to a new family

I no longer have my hair in pig tails and curls

but deep down in my heart

I’m still daddy’s little girl

there’s still  a deep ache in my heart

when you tore us apart……..

 

I may be grown up

but I’m still daddy’s little girl

waiting for you to come back through the door

and fix my broken heart…..

 

© 2012 ~♥ IVONNE P MONTIJO ♥ ~

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