The last eight months have been some sort of rollercoaster ride and I am not particularly partial to roller coaster rides. It feels like I am about to birth something. Maybe a new and improved version of myself? But we are only at the beginning of month nine so I guess figuratively speaking I have a month left before some kind of birthing/transformation occurs.
Today I received a wake up call of sorts. Something happened this morning that made me realize that I have been in a funk. That I have not really been myself. I think so much of my life has been lived in some sort of parallel universe that often times I am not aware of who the real Ivonne is or when life seems to have gotten off track.
But this morning I had a living metaphor to remind me that I need to start living life with purpose.
I went to take out the trash to discover that it was covered with maggots—-WTF!!!!!!!!
White disgusting maggots….on the outside of the trash bags, on the inside of the trash can…..gag me. I am surprised I did not throw up on the spot. It’s like they all sprouted over night. It was totally disgusting. And while I am cleaning out the trash man I remember that there are references to maggots in the bible relating to death and man being covered in maggots at death. Well, I wasn’t dead but I was covered in maggots–kind of.
I was attracting the energy of maggots–the energy of man at his death being transformed–well you know being eaten by the maggots. This is what popped into my head when I had to deal with this.
And I realized that I have been in a living death for about a month. My creativity had come to a halt, business has slowed down and hence I have been financially challenged. I have not worked out in a while and my diet has been sucky for about three weeks.
I have been in a deathly funk. I have been processing old emotional wounds and that may be a part of it. I have read that there are spiritual alignments happening in our universe and that may be playing a part as well.
Whatever the reason, the thing is I realized I am in a funk and I need to get out of it.
I am 50 going to be 51 years old and the plans I had at the beginning of the year have not panned out.
I do not have an answer at the moment……Hang on a sec my dog needs to go outside…..
I would love to be able to say here is the epiphany I had today but that is still a work in progress. I know the answer lies in my health equally physical, emotional and spiritual.
Oh and it appears that my dog apparently has diarrieah…sigh…
I wanted to take a picture of the beautiful night sky out tonight but it turns out the battery in my camera is dead…go figure that seems to be the current state of affairs….sigh………
So instead of the night sky in Long Beach I am sharing with you one of my favorite sunset pictures I took while I was in Negril, Jamaica….