I want to be Fifty and fabulous on my Birthday this Dec but I feel like a zombie, the walking dead.  I have modified my diet and I have lost 3-4 lbs but I am not yet motivated to work out.

I have discovered Zumba classes and have been to three but my work this past couple of weeks has prevented me from going to class.  I have even thought that I would like to get certified as a Zumba instructor–but who wants to take a class from an unfit lady?

As some of you already know I have stopped taking the little blue pills so I now have to deal with the anxieties of my mind and life organically without the use of drugs.

Lately I just want to stay in bed and not get up.  I think that if I only do that for one day maybe I can get out of my rut, but I have yet to have a day where I can do that and not get behind in my work.

It’s like I am living in this vicious cycle right now.  I had that same age-old argument with my mother in which she tells me I need to get a corporate job.  When this occurs I feel like I am the whack-a-mole game at Chuck-e Cheese and my mother is the whacker.  Today I told her she had to stop this behavior.  That these arguments drive me into a depression in which I can not accomplish anything.  My mother claims that I don’t hear her and if I would only just listen one time she would feel okay.

Of course she has not changed her story for the past 20 years in which she claims I would be happier if I gave up the arts for the security of a corporate job.  I really don’t think she is aware of the economic crisis facing the US and that the idea of her almost 50-year-old daughter competing in the corporate world with a liberal arts degree is really fantasy on her part.

You see she thinks I would be happy if I would just make the choices that she would make for herself.  But we are not the same person.  Where my mother needs financial security and routine in order to feel safe I am the opposite.  Routine stifles me.  I need adventure and change.  She does not like to drive because she is afraid of where she will wind up.  I, on the other hand thrive on finding new places and things to see.

peacefulness and serenity are the markers of my happiness.  Quietness and stillness are what I crave in my home, which is the opposite of my childhood which was replete with noise and at times violence.

But the bottom line is that I feel like a zombie and being whacked over the head with that invisible hammer that my mother uses on me does not help.

I want to write inspiring posts that move and motivate others to somehow help to make their lives better.

I don’t just want to write about what is going wrong in my life.

I know my mother is concerned about my future but I really wish she would just stop and accept my life as it is.

I am one of 99% in this country without health insurance so I am trying to deal with my health issues organically through diet and vitamins.  I am not quite 50 but my body has been acting as if I am older.  I am amazed that I am even writing this post but it has been on my mind for a while to post an update on my journey towards self discovery and fulfillment.

I don’t buy into you are getting older and everything starts to fall apart but at this moment that feels like a battle that my mind is losing and my body is winning…..I need to dig deep into my soul and call upon my higher self to pull me out of this one………

Unruly kids and Yappy dogs…….


My two biggest pet peeves are unruly kids in public and yappy dogs on 25 ft. retractable leashes.

This morning after having gotten a tetanus shot because I had gotten bitten by a neighbor’s dog this past weekend I decided to stop at an outlet store and do a little shopping.

There were two little girls ages about 3 and 4 playing with toys on the floor at the end of an aisle blocking the aisle.  So in order to get to the aisle you had to manuever around the two little girls.

And then the banshee like screaming starts.  Five minutes later still screaming…..10 more minutes, still screaming………15 minutes, still screaming and no parental intervention.

At the 20 minute mark I could not take it any more.  I walked out of the aisle and asked this woman to please attend to her child.

Before I continue let me describe this women, early 20’s Latina woman , with dyed blond hair, blue eyes, which I am guessing since the hair was fake most likely so were the eyes, on the chubby side wearing leggings and a tight t-shirt.  Now that you have the picture in your mind, I shall continue.

She immediately got ghetto on me….I am talking hand on the hips, head swirling ghetto.  She started calling me a bitch and a few other expletives.  And told me that she knew what was wrong with her child. I believe my response was, “well in that case why don’t you control her. My mother had rules for public behavior when I was a child”.

She then said, “There’s the front door.  Why don’t you leave the store. And I am not you”.  My response was, “Obviously and I walked away”.  I believe I muttered something like Jesus Christ under my breath at which point ghetto mom walked back to the aisle I was in, hand on hips and stared at me, as if that was going to make me leave the store.

I thought this woman was going to hit me and I almost wish she had because then I would have called the cops, she would have gotten arrested and child social services would have picked up her kids.

She eventually walked away…….she eventually said to her child, “stop whining”.

Why did it take a 20 minute tantrum and a total stranger asking this woman to deal with her child before she did anything?

My mother had rules and every time before we set foot out the front door she would remind us of the behavior that was expected of us in public places.  Why do people think that it is ok for their child/brat to disturb the peace of others in public places?

My dog is not allowed in stores (exception Petco).  My dog is not allowed in restaurants or to fly beside me on a plane.  And yet my 60 lb dog is better behaved than most people’s kids.

I can guarantee you that my dog will not be disruptive inside a store, a restaurant or on an airplane.

Can you say the same of your kids?  Granted not all dogs are well-behaved or trained either.  That’s my next big pet peeve.  Small yappy dogs, totally out of control on a 25 ft retractable leash charging and barking at my 60 lb dog.  Are they nuts? Do they have some kind of death wish?

People control your dogs.  I can not just pick up my 60 lb dog and hold it in my arms in the event of a problem.  No, I had to train my dog.  Please do the same with yours because the next time one of your yappy, rat dogs comes charging at my dog I will not tell her to sit and stay, quite the contrary I will tell her to go for it.  Hmnn, maybe then you might train your unruly dogs.

So if you see some woman out in public telling a parent to control their child, it will probably be me.

If we all took a stand on such disruptive behavior maybe some of these parents might just get a clue…………

Black Bag Conspiracy

Conspiracy, Paranormal, Ascension

An Eye on Art

a blog about beautiful things

Piggy Love

How a pig changed our lives.

Psychopathyawareness's Blog

information about psychopaths

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Armory of the Revolution

Writing the wrongs of the Right! The most radical Animal Rights blog on Earth! Universal rights, ecosocialism, and political grenades by Roland Vincent.


Explorations in contemplative writing

The Tree Kisser

Ethical Consumerism, Sustainable Living, Progressive Policy, & Animal Advocacy

There's an Elephant in the Room blog

Thoughts about veganism. Promoting an end to the use and the property status of members of nonhuman species.


El λόγος /ló.gos/ del día a día; de todo lo que pasa y, sobre todo, de lo que no.

Vegan Astronaut

A collection of vegan recipes, space stuff and my journey through Mars One


Unsolicited Social Commentary


Living Vegan In Charlotte, NC - Easy Vegan Recipes - Vegan Restaurant, Product, and Cookbook Reviews

Chitra's Healthy Kitchen

Recipes for healthy living


the politics of the feminine, by marnie olson

Global + Local = Glocal (Me)

Just a Local girl, living in a Global Wor-or-orld. . . .

%d bloggers like this: