I have just spent two hours on hold with Chase Bank.  The situation is this I had one payee that Chase decided that my online payment to them needed to be held pending a review by risk review. Here is the actual message: Payee is being researched by Risk operations and has not yet been decisioned.   This has now happened for 3 weeks in a row.  I have called to find out why this is happening.  I am told that they can not tell me why.  I also can not cancell the payments.  The money is now frozen by Chase.  I asked for a superviser–they also can not tell me anything.  As an American I feel like I have been raped and violated.  Each person I talk to tells me that Chase will not release the reason my money/payments are being held.  My money is not safe at Chase. Your money is not safe at Chase. Why won’t they give me an answer? They tell me it can happen again.  What? So, if I make a payment to someone Chase gets to decide if they will pay it or not?  I need to trust that when I deposit my money and when I make a bill payment that it will be paid.  Just to note when you issue a check through online banking the money automatically gets taken out of your account.

Folks this is really serious.  This is Facism, this is comunism.  The bank can not hold funds or freeze money in your accounts and then not tell you why.  I do not feel safe.  Chase bank has made me feel not safe.  And you all know that I am pretty fearless so for me to say that I do not feel safe is pretty big.  I am afraid to use my account. I am afraid to put my money in Chase bank. I am afraid to make payments through online banking.  If I do not get an answer as to why this is happening I am going to take my money out of chase bank.  I do not feel like Chase bank is a safe institition to bank with.  I am sure the girl on the other end of the phone line thought I was crazy when I started talking about this is not a communist country–you can not take my money and freeze payments indefinitely and then not tell me why.  THIS HAS HAPPENED FOR THREE WEEKS IN A ROW—-AND NO ONE WILL TELL ME ANYTHING!!!!!!   I feel like I am talking to pre-programmed robots on the other end of the phone.

Has this happened to anyone out there with Chase or any other bank?  Are there any lawyers out there that can advise me?  I do not think it is legal for Chase bank to do this. If this has happened to you please call Chase bank and ask them why.

Please share this status.  People need to know what Chase bank is doing. I honestly do not feel like anyone’s money is safe at Chase Bank.

…little blue pills…again

Back in October I decided to stop taking my little blue pills.

I had gotten a notice that the rent on my workshop space was going up by $300.00 and I needed to make cuts in my budget.

Well, I didn’t need those little blue pills, at least that is what I thought.  They cost $30.00 a month, since I don’t have health insurance.

Besides I did not want to rely on them for the rest of my life, after all, they were supposed to be a temporary fix..and I felt better.

So, where am I six months later?

I have been on the ledge of a dark precipace..staring into the darkness…clinging to my sanity..telling myself not to go there…but I slipped and into the rabbit hole I fell…..

…and darkness…despair….fear..anxiety…..embraced a warm blanket in the cold…..

I failed…….so back to the blue pills we go…

there is a part of me that is fighting to be alive…that so desperately wants to experience…a life well lived…..but she has to be bigger than the darkness and sadness……and I don’t know how to do that without those little blue pills, that I have come to hate because it means that there is something so wrong with me……that death is often times more appealing to me than life…..

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