The Treasures of my Soul…….


Signature

My beloved,

the words I put to paper

flow through from my heart

to express a love

that transcends

time, space and

the poets of old…..

 

mere words cannot convey

the longings of my soul…..

 

the poets of old

cannot convey

the love, the desires, the ecstasies

that I have for you

 

Their words have zero worth if truth be told

For it is my words that are the gold,

the treasures of my soul.

 

and for you alone

do they exist….

 

may I be inspired

by Rumi and Neruda

 

but take delight in my words

for they reflect the treasures

in my soul

 

that  are yours

and  yours alone

as my heart

soley belongs to you….

~♥ ivonne p montijo ♥~© 2013

Where Have You Been?…..a poem


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My beloved,

Where have you been?

I have searched for you in my dreams..

I have searched for you amongst the stars of the velvet, night sky

I have looked for you behind the silver beams of the midnight moon…

My beloved,

Where have you been?

I have searched…

I have looked….

I have yearned

and I have dreamed…..

and you seem

nowhere to be found…….

My beloved,

Where have you been?

I can feel you in my soul

I can feel you in heart

I can feel you in the

hot, fiery blood that rushes

throughout my body at thoughts of you.

You are in every fiber

You are in every cell

of my body

You are in every memory

before time

before eternity

and beyond infinity

My Beloved,

Where have you been?

Yours is the heart beat

that pulsates inside of me.

Yours is the soul

that is the other half of me…

My beloved,

Where have you been?

As I have need to be with my soul’s twin…

 

~♥ ivonne p montijo ♥~© 2013

Posted in poetry. Tags: , , , . 11 Comments »

we already were before…..


Beloved,

I remember your last kiss,

I remember your last embrace,

tears burning through my cheeks

down into my very soul….

 

Parting from your side

I left  my ripped out heart behind…

 

Ours was a love so true….

a love that neither time

nor eternity  would bid adieu….

 

but how could you forget….

that before we met

we had already met….

 

I remember your last kiss

and through your lips

I tasted the sweetness of  your soul……

 

I remember your last embrace

and through your arms

felt holy grace…..

 

tears running down my face

burning into my soul……

how could you forget

that we had already met…

time before time

how could you not know

that you were already mine…..

 

I remember your last kiss…..

bittersweet memories

of time before time……

 

come to me my beloved

devour my heart

consume my soul

enter my body

and remember

that we were already before…….

 

~♥ ivonne p montijo ♥~© 2012

“Hit and Runs”.


 

I learned a new idiom the other night, or rather I should say in the early morning hours.

Vampire time, where our weaknesses rise up to tempt us and seduce us.

I did something really stupid at 2:00 AM.  I sent a text message to Jackson.  Like I said it was a stupid thing to do, but there may be a good lesson in it for me.

This is the message I sent him:

Ivonne: It is in these late hours that temptation besieges me…”.

The rest of the conversation transpired as follows:

Jackson: Yikes!”.

Ivonne: ” it is also when my soul opens and I write my best….”

Jackson:”How humble! You are like Jesus”.

Ivonne:”no I don’t walk on water”.

Ivonne:””yeah, why would you respond yikes…that was kinda rude”.

Jackson:”Guys don’t have common sense. Lo siento”.

Ivonne:” and you certainly know how to kill a mood”.

Jackson:” Was supposed to be funny but only I laughed”.

Ivonne:” apparently..why r u doing up at his hour?”.

Jackson:” Reading and you?”

Ivonne:” besides being a little horny…”.

Ivonne:” doing paperwork…”.

Jackson:” A little?”

Ivonne:” ok a lot f____ing horny”.

Jackson: ” well where are your other mid-20’s guys?”

Ivonne: lol..I don’t sleep around..no other men young or old”

Ivonne:” and I don’t waste time with 20 something’s..u were the exception”.

Jackson:’ I am honored”.

Ivonne:”but still wasted my time with u”

Ivonne:’oh god..is that all you can say”.

Jackson:” Someone is touchy tonight”.

Ivonne:” right,it’s called being horny and no outlet…duh”

Ivonne: good night..sorry if I bothered u”

Jackson:” Sorry I am useless”.

Ivonne:’ why do u say u r useless”.

Jackson:”I can’t assist you”.

Ivonne:”wasn’t expecting you to”.

Jackson:”Just teasing?”

Ivonne:” not teasing but I understand that you have a girlfriend…there was a time you would flirt back…”.

Jackson:” Plus ‘hit and runs’ are bad emotionally”

Ivonne:” not sure what hits and run r”.

Jackson: “sex and nada mas”.

Ivonne:”shouldn’t you have considered that b4 u had sex with me?”

…there was no response after that.

The next morning I sent the following text;

Ivonne: ” btw, last night was not about sex…it was about intimacy and desiring to connect on a soul level”.

Jackson did not respond to that either.

Like I said when I started it was a stupid thing to do.

I was not horny, not even close.  I was exhausted and tired from a long working weekend.  I was not horny. I was missing him, but it was easier to say that I was horny because to admit that I still cared I could not do.

It wasn’t about the sex.  It was about him….but I felt dirty..violated …when he said “hit and runs”.

This very ugly realization occurred to me, “Is that all I was?”

a hit and run..so he never cared about me..never saw me as a person? 

So, all he saw was an older women who he assumed slept around because he was younger..wow I was stunned…..that really hurt.

I’m done.  I have never felt so bad in any relationship as I do now.  Not even the ex-husband or the ex-boyfriend before Jackson made me feel this bad.

Three psychics have told me that he would come back, but now I just don’t know.  I don’t know if I would want him back.  I know I deserve so much better than this.

So, I think that was the blessing for me. I think I can finally let go and open my heart to someone who is going to love me, mind, body, heart and soul, as i want to love them.

Growing up hurts…….. 😦

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