…little blue pills…again


Back in October I decided to stop taking my little blue pills.

I had gotten a notice that the rent on my workshop space was going up by $300.00 and I needed to make cuts in my budget.

Well, I didn’t need those little blue pills, at least that is what I thought.  They cost $30.00 a month, since I don’t have health insurance.

Besides I did not want to rely on them for the rest of my life, after all, they were supposed to be a temporary fix..and I felt better.

So, where am I six months later?

I have been on the ledge of a dark precipace..staring into the darkness…clinging to my sanity..telling myself not to go there…but I slipped and into the rabbit hole I fell…..

…and darkness…despair….fear..anxiety…..embraced me..like a warm blanket in the cold…..

I failed…….so back to the blue pills we go…

there is a part of me that is fighting to be alive…that so desperately wants to experience joy..love…a life well lived…..but she has to be bigger than the darkness and sadness……and I don’t know how to do that without those little blue pills, that I have come to hate because it means that there is something so wrong with me……that death is often times more appealing to me than life…..

An Eye on Art

a blog about beautiful things

Piggy Love

How a pig changed our lives.

Psychopathyawareness's Blog

information about psychopaths

After Narcissistic Abuse

There is Light, Life & Love

Vegan Souls

Have Conscience? Go Vegan..

Armory of the Revolution

The most radical Animal Rights blog on Earth! Universal rights, ecosocialism, and political grenades by Roland Vincent.

The Tree Kisser Blog

Fashion. Food. Activism. *No Animals Harmed

There's an Elephant in the Room blog

Thoughts about veganism. Promoting an end to the use and the property status of members of nonhuman species..

Paul and Cemanthe

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. The journey.

ESTUDIO DE UN DIARIO

Del griego moderno ημερολόγιο (imerológio) "diario o calendario", a su vez de ημέρα (iméra) "día u horas de sol" y λόγια (lógia), "palabras o estudio". En fin, estudio del diario: de los días, de los años, del tiempo, de la vida; en forma de palabras.

Vegan Astronaut

A collection of vegan recipes, space stuff and my journey through Mars One

kholli

Unsolicited Social Commentary

VegCharlotte

Living Vegan In Charlotte, NC - Easy Vegan Recipes - Vegan Restaurant, Product, and Cookbook Reviews

Chitra's Healthy Kitchen

Recipes for healthy living

herbodypolitic

the politics of the feminine, by marnie olson

Global + Local = Glocal (Me)

Just a Local girl, living in a Global Wor-or-orld. . . .

%d bloggers like this: