The Face of Narcissism……

“The narcissist can be likened to the Wizard of Oz.

A failed magician who PRETENDS to be a GREAT & POWERFUL WIZARD.”

                                                                                                                  (Dr. Craig Malkin)

How does one go from being an innocent child like this……


to someone with Narcissistic Personality disorder like this?


To continue reading go to, The Illusionist by Ivonne Montijo on


World Wide amazon links here.







41 Responses to “The Face of Narcissism……”

  1. ramblingsfromamum Says:

    Can I PLEASE go onto his FB page 😉 how interesting would that be….. so delusional this man, so pathetic, so…so… eck don’t even want to waste my words!

  2. jmgoyder Says:

    This is extraordinary! Does he know you’re writing this?

    • Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

      I have no idea, but he did arrive in town today and I found out his brother came into town as well–so that has me a little bit worried since I do not really know the extent that he has this illness and to what extent his behavior might be. I am guessing he doesn’t know but I gather I will find out in the next week or month because he is in California for a month, lucky me!!!!!

  3. rohan7things Says:

    God :/ The kinds of people that are out there huh! Well hopefully your experiences can help others see the warning signs and avoid these types early on. The problem though is that these narcs/psychos are so adept at charming/manipulating/black mailing that by the time you realise what’s going on you can be in pretty deep!

    The disadvantage most basically honest, decent folk have is that they assume that everyone else is as decent and honest as they are, and so they can be easily drawn along into compulsive liar’s delusion or scam. It’s a pity that good people have to become wary and cynical in order to protect themselves from unscrupulous psychos.

    Still, it’s better to be wary and educated than risk getting caught up with with deluded, uncaring and manipulative people.

    Good job spreading the word, not just about this guy, but these types in general!


    • Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

      Thak you Rohan for your words of support and encouragement. Yes, it is my hope that anyone planning on engaging in business or a personal relationship with this man will do their due diligence and find these series of blog posts–that actually contain the truth about this man. like Lance Armstrong he too will have to account for his actions but my hope is that I can prevent others from getting hurt, used and abused. We seem to have an epidemic of malignant narcissism in the world at the moment–but it won’t stop unless we call them out by name. I did not even know about NPD except a random post on FaceBook caught my eye and it explained my whole relationship with this person. Since that day I have made it my purpose to learn as much about this illness as possible. The sad part is there is no way to help these people.

      • rohan7things Says:

        Yeah, I’ve known a few myself, they can be fairly harmless as an acquaintance as long as they are kept at arms length. I certainly would not like to go into business or an intimate relationship with one though!

        I’ve known probably 4 people who could be classed as NPD, they are usually compulsive liars as well, once you know this though you just don’t believe a word they say, and you would never go into something serious with them.

        In the end though they are human beings, the best thing you can do for them is remove yourself from their influence, let them move on and spread the word as you have done.

        I’ve studied the DSMIV, psychiatry with it’s “Sick Brain Model” and the opposing views. I recommend you check out a documentary called “The Century of The Self” and also “The Marketing of Madness” you should be able to find both for free on youtube.

        The DSM can be good for finding a cluster of behavioral traits but I believe people are a little nuanced and complex than the DSM suggests. I’ve also personally seen, and read many cases of “Lifelong mental illness due to a brain disorder” being “cured” via a combination of positive environmental changes as well as inner work. This includes clinical depression, schizophrenia and so on.

        Sorry I blabbed there a bit, but do check out those docos, very very interesting and educational.

        All the best 🙂


  4. Maryanne Says:

    This is all so humorous, first, how can he think he’s so famous, I never even heard of him until I started reading your blog. Second, if you’re going to work with a new client, he/she should GIVE you the CD, not make you buy it! That’s just so pathetic that you had to BUY his CD when you’re working together!

    This reminds me of a theory I had a long time ago, called the $1.99 karma bin. I’m mildly connected to the music world because in my younger day I went to a lot of shows, met a lot of people, got backstage, also worked for two large music corporations and then later became a music journalist and more VIP/backstage stuff …. (blah, blah, blah, I know, but just setting the scenario for the story’s punchline …)

    Anyway, it just seemed that of all the nice, cool musicians I met, there were always a few that were jerks — and ironically the jerks were the ones who weren’t as successful. They’d be the ones that maybe did ONE gig at CBGBs, or a tour of Europe but spent sleeping on the floors of fan’s living rooms. Nothing nearly as big as they wanted the rest of the world to believe. These idiots were always so high on themselves, acting like they were better then everyone. They’d only talk to you if you were hanging out with someone more famous, but if you were alone or with someone who wasn’t famous, they’d turn their heads.

    Then I’d be shopping and see their CDs in the $1.99 bin! It was like, “Okay, big shot, you thought you were so great and so superior to everyone else, and you were mean to me — and here I am looking at your CD for only $1.99 and I’m not buying it — ha-ha-ha!”

    So, yeah, this is funny! But worse, it’s also very sad. One of these days your ex is going to wake up and realize he’s not what he thinks he is and he’ll be a very, very sad man!

  5. sakuraandme Says:

    Ivonne,dearest!!! I say be gone with this pathetic, tiny man! You are beautiful and deserve someone wonderful and loving in your life! I for one wish you great happiness! Loves you! …hugs from Oz! …..Paula xxx

  6. Paula Says:

    Reblogged this on Paula's Pontifications and commented:
    A delusional illusionist. Exposing a world-famous magician that no one has ever heard of! Love this blog. Hope you enjoy Ivonne’s story, too. Truth is better than fiction!

  7. kimberlyharding Says:

    This was such an incrdible posting – I am sending this on to some friends. thank you!!

  8. theabilitytolove Says:

    Interesting. I wish I were as good of a detective, if nothing more than for validation.

    Nice outline of narcissists and subsequent behaviors out of your ex. My ex psychopath was more of the highly successful type in his career, never changed geographical locations (has lived in the same area and house that he own for 15 years), yet has changed personas and churches where he is a worship leader, as well as changing up victims.I think part of the problem (other than the issues I have that allowed this into my life in the first place), is that he presented completely differently than I have heard of the ‘textbook’ variety although ultimately is behaviors were so. Lack of empathy, remorse or guilt, however he was extremely stealth, which made him more dangerous as he hides well behind his image and money.

    Your ex, however, is classic. I hope it helps others who are dealing with the same presentation. I found his self aggrandizing extremely humorous. 🙂

    • Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

      Thank you, for the compliment coming from you this means a lot. Yes, once you can step back and see the behavior for what it is itis very laughable. Jay might have been more successful if he had finished school and learned about business in addition to being an artist–the thing is they will never be as successful as they think they are entitled to be. And the end result is always the same–they cause devastation and ruin along the way. Unless he reappears like some zombie–I think this is the last post on him.

      • theabilitytolove Says:


        I think to write authentically, means writing from where we’re at in recovery. Some of are in the angry stage and want to expose, some of us are in the beginning stages so we talk about the disorder all the time, assigning blame (and rightfully so), for a time, some of us are moving into the stage of recovery where we are self reflective. Anyway, the point is that you need to write from a place of authenticity all the time. If you still want to write about him, do it until you tire of it, review in your mind, gather your insights and wisdom and move onto the next stage of recovery. ALWAYS be authentic, because no matter where you are in recovery, someone is right there with you and sharing in it. **hugs**

  9. Mayrbear's Lair Says:

    I would like to add as a note, to the Toppit effect he borrowed, Ivonne mentions … this classic effect was modernized for the current market by one of his best friends (another professional magician) whose home we were staying at during the time, while they toured Europe. In fact, his best friend said, “Go ahead and try it out see how it feels.” while we were house sitting for them. These friends opened their home to us and gave him access to secrets of their trade. Berry repaid his friend by taking the idea of the Toppit effect, and rather than working with his friend to help him market and sell it, Berry went behind his friend’s back and created his own version and put it out on the market! This is only one example of many in how Berry operates.

  10. Tools for healing….. | Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

    […] most recent book I have read that I have referenced in my post, The Face of Narcissism […]

  11. caroline Says:

    being “C” i just want to say that this part of my life was over 30 years ago, and I now chalk it up to adolescent relationships. I have nothing to contribute to your blog. You are obviously way more involved than I was (no matter how much I wish I would have continued to be so…) and I have moved far past this time in my life. I have 4 successful children and a husband of 28.9 years, so JSB is nothing more than a memory.

    • Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

      Dear “C”, thank you for taking the time to read the blog. I am so glad to hear that you were one of the few women to exit her relationship with JSB unscathed and that you are in a loving relationship with a wonderful family and that JSB is nothing more than a memory. If you read the other posts you will see that was not the case with the other women nor with me, or his current wife…sigh…… I have been merely seeking the truth behind all the lies and deceptions that I had experienced and was sincerely just trying to find out where you fit in the timeline of my relationship with Jay. I was not seeking any further contributions to my blog. It may have been over 30 years ago but to find out that there were multiple women at the time of myself–well it still hurts even 30 years later. And not just 30 years ago but last year as well.

      Update: Caroline contacted Mayr wanting to know of Mayr’s relationship with JSB–Mayr confirmed that 1- I did not want Caroline to contribute to my blog, 2-that everything written is the truth. Also Caroline is now friends with JSB and comments on his post quite frequently–so no he is not in the past for her at all—who knows maybe someday I’ll do a post on how I came to know about Caroline.

  12. celestedimilla Says:

    Hey Ivonne! I’ve never heard of the dude, but wow! Anyway, thanks again for the help with my pooch and for following – you’re a sweetheart! Celeste:)

  13. The Coffee Press… | Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey Says:

    […] It started when I was traveling to Malaysia and my traveling companion, the narcissist, see post, The Face of Narcissm, asked me to bring with me a coffee press.  It seems that the Malaysians are not the biggest fans of […]

  14. 情趣用品 Says:

    Great publish. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information particularly the last part I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this specific information for a lengthy time. Thank you and very best of luck.

  15. Kylie Says:

    I read that Sam V website when I was getting divorced. It finally helped me understand what had happened to me–part of my story is in a post called “Proof.”

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